What?!? My guides are Chenwae, too! What a coincidence!

My guides told me they want everyone to send me $5, each, and if everyone on Earth participates, they’ll come and give us the perpetual motion devices we can use to solve the world’s energy problems and thereby save the environment! And also they’ll give everyone a pound of platinum, and cure cancer, too.

So, let’s chip in, everyone! $5 is a small price to pay for world peace!