One that I really don't like about the fedi is that there is this underlying need to view bigots as redeemable, to the point where those of us who are not friendly to people who harass us are chastised for not being ‘nice enough’ in the hopes a serial abuser comes around.

The fedi has to accept some people are just hateful pieces of shit, and no amount of kindness will change that. These kinds of people are attracted to unregulated spaces.

It doesn't matter if they are having a bad day. Harassment and abuse under any circumstances is not ok.

And it's not our job to teach bigots how to be decent people by absorbing their cruelty.