Mad VillainMay 18, 2024

One that I really don't like about the fedi is that there is this underlying need to view bigots as redeemable, to the point where those of us who are not friendly to people who harass us are chastised for not being ‘nice enough’ in the hopes a serial abuser comes around.

The fedi has to accept some people are just hateful pieces of shit, and no amount of kindness will change that. These kinds of people are attracted to unregulated spaces.

It doesn't matter if they are having a bad day. Harassment and abuse under any circumstances is not ok.

And it's not our job to teach bigots how to be decent people by absorbing their cruelty.

Show threadEsther Payne 

@are0h yeah... Not just Fedi it is endemic across tech, and elsewhere.

It hooks into the same status quo stuff as wanting to federate with harmful networks like threads.

People want to redeem abusers because they still see or directly benefit from the value they get from them.

May 18, 2024 at 5:17pmWeb
Show threadMad VillainMay 18, 2024

@onepict So here's the thing with comments like this.

As I exist in the world, of course, I know it's not just the fedi, but as this is where we are engaging, that's what I'm talking about.

So comments like 'Oh, it's not just here' fall flat for me at best and are condescending at worst.

I would advise you to consider why you are deploying this comment in the future and examine if it's really needed.

Show threadEsther Payne May 18, 2024

@are0h We do see it more on the fediverse because that is where we are.

I didn't comment to downplay your experience.

I do think we need to be honest that it is everywhere and the fediverse isn't the utopia some folks would try to paint it as.

Mainly because I've seen tech communities try to paint themselves as that, then pivoting to freedom of speech while ignoring the freedom of association part. All the while harassing others who are trying to moderate their communities.

Show threadMad VillainMay 18, 2024

@onepict I never said we see it more here or there, so that's just an assumption you are making based on nothing.

I also did not claim at any point that the fedi is a utopia, so that is moot.

The point about tech companies is also moot because I'm not saying anything on their behalf, so it's unnecessary.

It's okay if those are your concerns, but attempting to derail what I am saying to focus on what you feel like you want to talk about is something I don't appreciate.

Again, I advise you to reflect on why you need to do this.

Show threadEsther Payne May 18, 2024

@are0h I do apologise for that.

I'll leave it at that.

Show threadMad VillainMay 18, 2024

@onepict It's all good.

Just try a different approach in the future.