I relate to this on such a deep level. I really dread using any toilet that doesn’t have a bidet now. I can’t figure out why they aren’t everywhere . It has to be better for the environment.

Imagine the filth in your average public restroom.

Now imagine if they were all designed with powerful fountains that spray water up and out of the device if not intercepted by an anus.

I’m pretty sure “this is why we can’t have nice things” is true in this case, just pre-emptively.

The wonderful thing about every bidet I’ve ever used is that they require intentional actions to be activated. I have never gotten a surprise spray yet.

Surprise sprays tend to happen when your staring over the stradle-style bidet, trying to figure out how the hell to work it.

Met a new friend once. Had no idea what it was. Touched a knob and the ceiling got wet.

They got divorced a few years later. Husband moved out west with a friend’s girlfriend. Said friend ended up marrying the wife. She’s a slut, and they’re going through a divorce now.