THE BELOW MESSAGE

No, it’s “the message below” or “the following message”. Pick a lane.

“Below” is used as a stranded preposition in your case (the more generally accepted usage), whereas the original post uses it at an adjective. While usage of “below” as an adjective is not universal, it is still accepted by some dictionaries. I could find only the Webster English Dictionary as an example, so I suppose it’s mostly exclusive to American English. So yes, your example is the more universal mode (as well as my personal preference), but American English generally accepts the above usage as proper grammar.(The sentence above, as well as this one, demonstrate the usage of “above,” a relative locus, as both an adjective and a preposition in modern English).

Holy shit, man! I don’t want to take away from your super power, but does anyone actually understand you?

This is what too much English grammar does to one… I hardly understand myself. But nah lol that’s not how I always talk, I was just trying to use perfect grammar since the whole point was to defend an unusual grammatical construct.