“We’re seeing a greater need for authentic human connections”

I’m going to take a wild guess and wager that this is about increasing engagement by increasing the amount of opening moves that are created on the platform.

Dating sites profit by increasing engagement with the platform, not by getting you an “authentic connection” that gets you off the platform and into a healthy relationship.

There’s a reason people are going analog again. They know these sites are just a thirst trap.

Calling it a thirst trap is too innocent. These dating app companies are scum-sucking vampires designed to make most people feel lonely and desperate enough to give them money in perpetuity. People just handed one of the most important and intimate aspects of their lives over to US tech bros, pressured everyone else to do the same, and two whole generations are not just having less sex than their parents, but half of them have never had a long-term relationship as they’re approaching 30.

Why can’t we go back to meeting people on BBS and forums. Shit I met my partner in 2009 on a forum. It was organic and real, no apps, no algorithms just good ol’ fashion php with a dash of flame war.

Or just… talk to people IRL? I met my wife at my apartment complex, and plenty more meet their SOs at a local social event or whatever. Go to meetups for stuff you’re interested in and talk to people. I trust that way more than dating apps that pair you with strangers given a short bio…

Yeah, talking to people sucks, I get it. I’m quite introverted and need to relax after putting myself out there. When I met my wife, we texted for 2-3 days before I had enough social energy to ask her out on a date, even though I was quite interested in her. She’s a little introverted as well, so we’re a good match.

Text is way easier for me, but in-person is way more effective. Most of my friends met their SOs in person at some kind of meetup, whether a DND night, tech meetup, or a dance (not a club, that’s way too loud). Online worked for my brother, but I just don’t see nearly as much success as with in-person meetups, at least among my friends.

People especially women hate meeting people in public. It’s either “inappropriate,” or there’s music louder than a war playing. There is no in between.

I’m talking about pretty “safe” settings, like:

• game night with mutual friends - your and their friends will help keep things on the level
• co-ed sports (again, with mutual friends)
• community events, such as at a local library or whatever
• meetups for interests - often hosted at some local business that does something related to the thing (I’m a dev, so I go to local Rust, Go, Python, and JS meetups on occasion)

In other words, places where people are “forced” to interact doing something that interests them, while around other people that could come to your aid if someone is being creepy. The goal shouldn’t be to find a SO (that attracts the wrong type), but to interact with people that share an interest. You should be looking to make friends, and if that blossoms into something more, I guess that’s cool too. Don’t go into it looking for an SO, go into it looking to engage about something you enjoy.

anything with mutual friends

I don’t have any of those, they all knocked each other up in their 20’s, their personalities died and now they’re all underpaid zombies with diaper bags and minivans who never text, and in car-centric America there is no mechanism for meeting more.

co-ed sports

Illegal in the South for the same reasons that you can’t buy beer on Sunday morning.

Community events such as at a local library or whatever

My town hosts regular community events and distributes a list of upcoming ones every month as part of a newsletter included with our water bills. 100% of them are for ages 6-12 or 65+; About the only event I’m aware of that might allow normal no adjective adults to attend is the occasional First Friday event, which plays music you could hear from geostationary orbit. I mean seriously the music will rattle my windows about as hard as a freight train and the stage gets set up 4 blocks further away than the tracks. Should I call OSHA or something?

Meetups for interests

All of my interests are some combination of near total sausage fests, have no support/community in my area, or any support for them died during the pandemic.

often hosted at some local business

Buy shit! Buy shit buy shit buy shit!