The same could be said the other way. “If not being called by your preferred pronoun is one of the most difficult things in your life… etc etc”.

Being misgendered constantly is a very difficult thing for trans people. Why wouldn’t it be?

because i don’t need another person’s consent or validation to be myself?

It’s not about consent or validation, it’s about being harassed. I’m not sure why that isn’t clear to you. Do you think trans people have an easy life?

me misgendering you is not harassment. i honestly don’t care and you shouldn’t either. people that want to die on that hill are wasting everyone’s time. move on. don’t engage with people who don’t take the time to respect your whatever.

Accidentally misgendering someone is not harassment.

Intentionally doing so is. Because that’s the whole point of intentionally doing so.

But accidentally misgendering someone is often considered paramount to taking part in the holocaust. I’m not mean, I’m just lazy, and I don’t want to talk on egg shells to make sure I accurately read someone’s gender correctly. You can only take some much unjustified vilification before you start to think “you know what? fuck you. I’m going to misgender you out of spite”.

I accidentally misgender trans people all the time. Never have I ever been accused of being transphobic because I handle it like calling someone the wrong name accidentally. I quickly correct myself and move on, and actively do my best to remember their pronouns going forward. If you don’t want to walk on eggshells, you can do this thing called “ask them”. It’s fine.

Sure, it takes half a braincell of effort at first, but then it becomes easier. This is a strategy known as “not being a dick”.

That said I call everyone Carl because I’m too lazy to learn everyone’s name, and I don’t want to walk on eggshells to make sure I don’t call someone the wrong name accidentally./s

I like calling everyone Carl, lol.

IDK, to me it’s not that much different than trying to keep someone’s religious denomination straight. I really just don’t care what particular branch of stupid you’re into.

But hey, that’s me, a cys white male living their life oblivious to your personal struggle. Fuck me, am I right? If you want to have a conversation about toppling capitalism, you might get my attention.

I’m also a cis white dude, but I’ve grown past the stage of saying “woah is me I’m standing in a place of privilege”. That attitude does nothing for anyone.

Allow yourself to be called out, because that’s how you get called in. If you want change, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable, because that’s what growing feels like. That discomfort is part of you having empathy for others, but it will go away as you learn to love and respect those who are not like you.

I get it, it’s easy to want to focus on how patriarchal systems have put us in a strange position of being both an aggressor and a victim, and it’s easier to face being a victim than considering how we’ve been complicit in this system. We do need to talk about men’s new role in an egalitarian society, and how we can best support men going forward, but being apathetic towards the dignity of others is not how you topple capitalism.