I get it. I have like, life ruining levels of insomnia, which is like 90% because I have extreme nightmares every night. They’re so bad sometimes I wake up crying. Sometimes I don’t fall asleep because I know what’s waiting for me when I eventually lose consciousness. I’m so thankful when I have no dreams at all. I’ve talked to doctors and psychologists about it and they just shrug at me like, wow that sounds tough. Nobody has ever helped me with it. And really who would take it seriously? It’s just nightmares right? What adult is afraid to go to sleep? To dream about loved ones dying in gruesome ways right before their eyes? Or getting murdered in horrible ways, tortured to death, trampled, eaten alive by insects, being responsible for killing my whole family in a car crash, falling to death and remembering what the impact felt like, having my eyeballs plucked from my head, my stomach torn open and my guts devoured while I’m still alive. I’m not even close to the end of the list of what I’ve experienced over half of my life. Yeah they’re just nightmares. But I have to experience them. For the rest of my life.

The only fighting chance I’ve been given is to move to a state where weed is legal because it basically prevents me from dreaming at all.

Your last sentence was exactly what I was going to recommend. I also have bad dreams almost every night, although not as extreme as what you’re describing. But still, I don’t like sleeping and that’s probably why. I also have bad insomnia although mine isn’t related to the bad dreams, that’s just an additional nuisance.

With weed, I sleep peacefully every night. I didn’t start using weed regularly until my late 40’s and now I’m like… why not? Sure as fuck beats getting drunk almost every night to get to sleep which I did through a good chunk of my 30’s. Since I ‘discovered’ weed, I barely drink at all.