forestinejust a psa, please don't give me advice unless i am asking for advice. almost a year of unsolicited health advice about my arthritis from everyone including my dental hygienist has made me totally allergic to unsolicited advice on any topic. if i want advice, i will ask for it.
i too used to want to help people all the time but it's in fact not helpful if it is not wanted.
before you give advice:
1. has the person asked for advice?
2. do you know anything about what the person has gone through up to this point including what they have already tried?
3. do you know if the person already knows about this topic? (they might already know a great deal)
4. do you in fact know anything about this topic?
1. has the person asked for advice?
2. do you know anything about what the person has gone through up to this point including what they have already tried?
3. do you know if the person already knows about this topic? (they might already know a great deal)
4. do you in fact know anything about this topic?
i really love it when people (who can check off questions 2-4) ask if they can give advice first. it makes me feel loved.
also i am working on not giving advice myself as an aforementioned want-to-help-er.
boosting this thread since yesterday's post has a lot of replies that intersect with it
fungus (oracle of tree logs)@forestine this goes the same when an entity is venting: asking if feedback is wanted or someone to read/listen
mkb@forestine When I worked a lot with people from Pivotal Labs, they had a framework I really like.
First, they always asked before giving the feedback. Then they had three criteria for anything they’d say: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it actionable?