Waldo JaquithApr 19, 2024
I made a new Mastodon bot, called "I Hope This Email Finds You.” Twice a day it proposes a novel way to conclude that sentence that opens so many emails. (It uses phrases from Google Books that include the phrase “finds you.”) I've been having fun reading these, so I turned it into a bot because you, too, might have fun reading them. https://botsin.space/@thisemailfindsyou/112295528875440987
I Hope This Email Finds You (@[email protected])

I hope this email finds you under a balcony and kisses you in the shadows until there's nothing left of you but sparkling fairy dust, and in your weakened state, you ask if she wants to hang out next weekend, and her face clouds and she goes, “Ohhh."

botsin.space
Show threadWaldo JaquithApr 19, 2024
1,300 people have followed my new bot in the past 12 hours, and I was really nervous that the next post it made might be boring or nonsensical and then everybody would say "we've made a huge mistake this bot actually sucks.” Instead it's this, which I'm delighted by. https://botsin.space/@thisemailfindsyou/112298380614532978
I Hope This Email Finds You (@[email protected])

I hope this email finds you wherever you go, and lands right in the center of your brain.

botsin.space
Show threadJessamyn
@waldoj It's a really good bot.
Apr 19, 2024 at 8:11pmWeb
Show threadWaldo JaquithApr 19, 2024
@jessamyn I'm not used to making bots with broad appeal! “150 enthusiastic followers" is more my thing. Just to balance things out, my next one is going to be really dumb, hilarious to no more than 150 people.
Show threadDeb ChachraApr 20, 2024
@jessamyn @waldoj If it makes you feel better, I’m the weirdo follower who knows exactly what this and was probably publishing in the same or closely allied journals at the time: https://botsin.space/@thisemailfindsyou/112295447171916868
I Hope This Email Finds You (@[email protected])

I hope this email finds you well and in this issue, our lead feature describes the exciting results of the first clinical trials conducted using a new drug called Fosamax for osteoporosis.

botsin.space