Pat12

What is the word for someone who is friends with different groups but doesn't have loyalty to any one group?

https://lemmy.world/post/13246120

What is the word for someone who is friends with different groups but doesn't have loyalty to any one group? - Lemmy.World

The closest word I can think of is a sycophant but that’s too strong word and not exactly what I’m looking for. The word I’m thinking of has negative connotations and it’s for someone who is friends with different groups but only at a superficial level and isn’t necessarily honest about who all they’re friends with. This person would be seen as untrustworthy.

Mar 18, 2024 at 2:34amWeb
Show threadH1jAcKMar 18, 2024
Is this person known to be friends with each group, by each group? Or are they trying to keep their connections hidden, as well?
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024
They keep their connections hidden; it is the other groups who when asked state that they are friendly with this person.
Show threadthantikMar 18, 2024
Honestly I’d feel quite attacked if I were on the other side of this questioning.
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024
sorry what do you mean?
Show threadthantikMar 18, 2024

You’re actively having people ask who their friends are, and they’re being guarded about it.

If you felt like you might be kicked out of a group of friends that you really liked, because of your association with someone THEY didn’t like; wouldn’t you be a little guarded too?

Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024
I am not really understanding this, anyway I am looking for a word for someone who will be friends with pro-govt and pro-democracy people and you can’t trust a person like this or you will get arrested
Show threadABCDEMar 18, 2024

Sounds like this but not necessarily friends with lots of people: dictionary.cambridge.org/…/duplicitous

I know of some who flit between groups, they are dangerous at times.

Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024

duplicitous

i learned a new word, thank you!

Show threadAFK BRB ChocolateMar 18, 2024
Only words I can think of are “lickspittle” and “toady,” but those are both for people who are overly nice to people in authority. Maybe “disingenuous?”
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024

disingenuous

disingenuous could definitely be it; they’re not straightforward about their intentions.

Show threadmosiacmangoMar 18, 2024

Interacting with different groups of people has nothing to do with being earnest or forthright.

I have friend groups that dont interact, but it has nothing to do with them. These are people from differnet parts of my life like work or different hobbies that could co-mingle, but life is too complicated to actually sort that out. I dont really overly discuss one group with another unless interests cross. It’s nothing personal, it’s simply that these groups exist largely in separate parts of my life, so they tend to stay there.

Show threadjusthachMar 18, 2024
Opportunist
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024
Opportunist is definitely closer to what i’m thinking than sycophant.
Show threadtwsMar 18, 2024
Fair Weather Friend has gently negative connotations
Show threadNobodyMar 18, 2024
Yeah, the good version of someone like that would be a diplomat, but the untrustworthy version is definitely an opportunist.
Show threadthantikMar 18, 2024
I’d call them normal.
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024
If you’re friends with someone, wouldn’t you want to know if they’re also friends with someone problematic?
Show threadthantikMar 18, 2024
No. Because as a friend, it’s not my job to dictate my friends-friends.
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024

I’ve had friends that were friends with ex-cons, etc.

you do you but I would definitely want to know if my friends were close with people who’d been in prison. If I worked in a field where they do background checks i would absolutely need to know if my friends were friends with those in prison. There’s a difference between dictating who people are friends with and knowing who people you give information to are close with.

Show threadFuglyDuckMar 18, 2024
Every where does background checks, these days. In any case we don’t really care about your friends; and outside of ts/sci type clearances, nobody runs checks that deep (or even has the ability to- you need to provide close contacts for them to run a check)
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024
I live in Asia, if you tell the wrong person you are a democracy supporter you can get arrested or on a watch list
Show threadFuglyDuckMar 18, 2024

Surveillance states need not apply, but they’re still running checks for employment basically everywhere.

In any case, political crimes (“democracy supporter”) are just more justification to not care, imo.

Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024

In any case, political crimes (“democracy supporter”) are just more justification to not care, imo.

you are saying you want people to not care about who they share information with when they live under a state that will arrest you for many more reasons than someone in the west would expect?

Show threadKanzarMar 18, 2024

Ex-cons might not be the best group to use in your example…

If I had a friend who kept the company of fascists, I’d probably drop them real quick - notably as the current iteration of fascists are intent on ensuring people like me are dead or ground under their boot.

On the flip side, just because I had a disagreement with someone doesn’t mean other friends can’t be friends with that someone - it takes a lot to be called “an enemy” of myself.

Show threadthantikMar 18, 2024

Why? If they’re Ex-cons, they’ve done their time and they deserve to be treated the same as everyone else.

They’re a perfect group to use in my example.

Show threadKanzarMar 18, 2024

It’s precisely that they should be treated the same that I don’t believe they make a good example as someone you wouldn’t want to be associating with.

You shouldn’t care that mates of yours hang with ex-cons, so there is no conflict to be had there.

I wasn’t remarking on the incidence rate of fascists, merely commenting on their views.

Show threadDnnMar 18, 2024

If I had a friend who kept the company of fascists, I’d probably drop them real quick

Not a good way to make them see reason. I know it’s hypothetical but if you’re friends shouldn’t you put in some effort to help instead of just drop them?

Show threadKanzarMar 18, 2024

Given how out and proud the sentiments are expressed, the friend can’t say they didn’t know… I wouldn’t waste much time trying to have them see reason. You don’t accidentally join a dinner party where everyone else is a white supremacist, or an anti-vaxxer, or where everything they don’t like is woke and thus should be eliminated.

Either way I said probably… Which would likely follow as certainly after an attempt to see if maybe they have been wilfully ignorant (still not a good look).

Show threadDnnMar 18, 2024
You obviously don’t know how cults work. But that’s fine. I hope you’ll never lose a real friend to one.
Show threadABCDEMar 18, 2024
Maybe give it as an example.
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024

Not a good way to make them see reason. I know it’s hypothetical but if you’re friends shouldn’t you put in some effort to help instead of just drop them?

you’re planning to spend time debating with a ziganwu? or if you’re western, a staunch far-leg or far-right supporter or someone with very racist views?

Show threadsquid_slimeMar 18, 2024
There reeks of controlling
Show thread𝕱𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍Mar 18, 2024
A mimic
Show threadestutwehMar 18, 2024
Maybe dilettante, maverick ?
Show threadNobodyMar 18, 2024
Yeah, the good version of someone like that would be a diplomat, but the untrustworthy version is definitely an opportunist.
Show threadIdentity3000Mar 18, 2024
What about a “social climber”? Someone whose friendships are based on calculations about who can help them succeed in other ways?
Show threadcredoMar 18, 2024

You all are harsh.

“A social butterfly is a slang term for a person who is socially dynamic, successful at networking, charismatic, and personally gregarious. Usually, social butterflies don’t belong to a particular group, but rather jump from one group to another.” Wilipedia

Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024
Hmm I think it’s fine if someone is a social butterfly, they don’t have bad intentions etc. I am talking about someone who seems like you can trust them but actually they have other loyalties, I live in a place where people get arrested for supporting democracy for example
Show threadwahmingMar 18, 2024
If we’re talking where consequences of their friendships get you thrown in jail, traitor is a pretty good word.
Show threadcredoMar 18, 2024

What about perfidious gadabout?

I think your focus is on the disloyalty, but really there are two aspects of your description that make it difficult to find s single word which fits well. I’m also thinking the individual isn’t necessarily disloyal, but rather loyal to an unseen cause. E.g., disingenuous. If the person is a plant, then “mole” comes to mind.

Show threadreineiMar 18, 2024
I heard them called “bats” because they flap around between different groups and are associated with darkness thus “shady”!
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024

I heard them called “bats” because they flap around between different groups and are associated with darkness thus “shady”!

hahahahah

Show threadpantyhosewimpMar 18, 2024
In the USA, one term we have for this kind of person is “poseur”.
Show threadCruxifuxMar 18, 2024
Turncoat, two-faced, quisling, crony?
Show threadReziarfgMar 18, 2024
Duplicitous?
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024
i learned a new word, thank you!
Show threadMurdethMar 18, 2024
Free agent. Floater.
Show threadNualkrisMar 18, 2024
Social chameleon
Show thread0opsMar 18, 2024
That was my thought too
Show threadscrionMar 18, 2024
Paigon
Show threadlando55Mar 18, 2024
Paimon?
Show threadMeron35Mar 18, 2024
Maybe fickle
Show threadtover153Mar 18, 2024
Flibbertigibbet
Show threadmPonyMar 18, 2024
a will-o-the-wisp?
Show threadCiderApplenTeaMar 21, 2024
A clown.
Show threadMrsDoyleMar 18, 2024
Such a weird concept - you don’t trust someone who has a wide variety of friends? I have several very different hobbies/activities, so naturally there’s little overlap in my friend groups. Most of my friends are like this - for example one belongs to three choirs and I don’t know any of those friends. Or her kayaking friends, or her work friends. I’m giggling thinking how baffled she’d be if I started questioning her “loyalty”. Even my very closest friends have other friend groups I’m not part of. So what?
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024

no, it’s normal to have a variety of friends

i’m talking about people with loyalty to a specific ideology and they are not honest about who they are in contact with, i live in asia in an area where you can get in a lot of trouble if you support democracy and if you share such information with the wrong person you can get in a lot of trouble

Show threadI_Fart_GlitterMar 18, 2024
Sounds like they are just doing their best to survive in an oppressive situation. If you can get in serious trouble for your beliefs it is normal not to be open about things that relate to that subject.
Show threadMrsDoyleMar 18, 2024
Ooooh ok, in that context I can see what the issue is. That is such a heads-up for me in terms of making assumptions based on my own privilege, and I apologise for doing that here. I’m very lucky to be able to discuss politics without fear. I wish you all the best.
Show threadPat12Mar 18, 2024

That is such a heads-up for me in terms of making assumptions based on my own privilege, and I apologise for doing that here. I’m very lucky to be able to discuss politics without fear.

it’s ok, everyone has their own problems

my wording was maybe not clear