@SmudgeTheInsultCat Its true. If we're brought to the surface too fast our bodies literally explode and turn to mush.

@SmudgeTheInsultCat Oh man, that resonates.

@SmudgeTheInsultCat just gotta stay pressurized for 27 months when I can quit working forever.

@SmudgeTheInsultCat Me, as a Walmart cashier:

@SmudgeTheInsultCat I feel attacked.