Daft_ishHanging out with my nieces/nephews I now understand most the discipline I received as a child was most likely because I was being annoying and nothing to do with right or wrong.
originaluciferyep. the hardest part of being a parent is the patience to understand, and treat children as the underdeveloped humans they are. not everyone can do it
I’ve fucked this up a few times and snapped at my kids for things that it isn’t reasonable to expect of them. It’s really hard when they show maturity beyond their age and developmental level in some aspects because you can almost forget they aren’t fully developed and so the behavior can feel intentional. Like you get this flash of thinking, “I know the kid knows this is wrong,” and if you aren’t mindful in that moment, you can handle it wrong.
I have always made sure to calm myself down and then go talk to them about it. I apologize for losing my temper and, with an emphasis on how what I did was NOT ok, explain what I was feeling and why it made me react inappropriately. I’m pretty big on making them understand that adults are fallable and make mistakes, too.
I don’t know…it feels like it’s working well.
That sounds like a great approach. I don’t have kids and am still working on getting better that kind of reflection.