throwawaysalamiFeb 7, 2024

What do you need to be able to offer in a relationship, in order for it to work?

https://lemmy.world/post/11685382

What do you need to be able to offer in a relationship, in order for it to work? - Lemmy.World

I feel like I have nothing to offer in a relationship, besides friendship. So, what personality traits do you have to possess in order to maybe steer someone from wanting friendship to wanting a relationship? I don’t mean this like getting out of the “friend-zone” I mean like prior to that. I guess there is not really a secret sauce for this. But generally what did the other person do differently for you that made you want to have a relationship with them?

Show threadgibmiser

You have to know what you want out of life. Figure out what it is you want and find someone who you enjoy being around who wants the same things.

And don’t say I just want a loving relationship. That’s a cop-out. What are your hopes for the future of yourself? Where will you be? What will you be doing? How will you be doing it? These things interact with your personality to make you who you are.

If you don’t have a sense of identity and purpose, then there’s nothing for the other person to be attracted to.

Feb 7, 2024 at 8:12pmWeb
Show threadivanafterallFeb 7, 2024
Don't undersell real friendship, though. My best partners were also my closest friends.
Show threadthrowawaysalamiFeb 7, 2024

Don’t mean to trauma-dump here but, I’m just gonna flat-out say it. My hopes for the future is to be dead in one or two years max. I figured, maybe I can still try to make it at least a little bit more comfortable in the mean time.

And what you’re saying actually makes a lot of sense within my context.

Show threadjeffwFeb 7, 2024
Why do you want to die?
Show threadthrowawaysalamiFeb 7, 2024
Global Warming mostly and an overall feeling of “Enough is enough.” Like what’s there left to gain out of the future these days?
Show threadjeffwFeb 7, 2024
If you’re concerned about the climate, you could take action and attempt to change things. In terms of what we gain, that’s up to you. Maybe it’s as trivial as seeing the sequel to your favorite movie. There’s not enough time to experience everything this world has to offer. That’s the sad part to me. I’ll just try to experience what I can for as long as I can.
Show threadGraniteFeb 7, 2024

My dude. Being in a relationship is a want, not a need. What you need to do is park your ass in a therapist’s office and trauma dump.

Your wants come much easier when your needs are met.

A relationship won’t soothe what is truly hurting you at your core. It’ll feel nice in the moment, but a bandaid does nothing for internal bleeding.