toomanypancakesWhat's something about you that you find difficult to deal with?
For me it’s gotta be my shaky hands. I don’t know why they’re so shaky but it makes typing hard and I have to take pictures multiple times to get one not blurry. Super frustrating!
RhynoplazMaybe you need to lay off the pancakes. Too much sugar!
Haha maybe!
I believe that’s a symptom of thyroid problems.
I believe I have something to ask my doctor lol
Whats the drinking situation?
I’ll have a cider or two most nights, but that’s more of a recent thing. It doesn’t go away with alcohol either 😞
Any stimulants?
Nope, don’t think so. If you’re really curious, I take a couple antidepressants - aripiprazole and desipramine - lithium, and I’ll often have weed and alcohol. That’s about it for substances.
I would look into the Abillify/aripiprazole
What do you take that for? Antipsychotics (particularly atypical) are terrifyingly overprescrived and often inappropriately in my conjecture.
Treatment resistant depression, they’ve tried a whole mess of drugs on me over the years lol. This prompted me to message my doctor though, so thanks! Maybe I won’t just have to suck it up and deal with this
What antis have you tried? The other thing I was going to mention was what’s your sleep deal?
Fo you get up at the same time everyday and expose your eyes to bright light? That was a big thing for me that I think a lot of people are doing incorrectly but obviously depression is a multi-headed beast more often than not.
Circadian rhythm and sleep are criminally underexamined areas
Off the top of my head they’ve tried me with duloxetine, mirtazapine, venlafaxine, sertraline, vilazodone, bupropion, and I’ve done TMS and ECT. I do go to bed around the same time and get up at the same time, I’m bad at avoiding blue light beforehand though, I could do better there.
iPhone or Android phone?
TJDetweilerTake any steroids as a kid?
Purely anecdotal, and with the caveat that I don’t know shit about fuck, but I have a friend who is passively shaky, and it’s because he was on steroids for asthma, as he had it really bad when he was younger.
Watching him pack a bowl these days is stressful…
I had a coworker who had this. She is young, in her 30s, and she had (and still has, but I don’t see her anymore) what’s called an essential tremor. It’s totally benign and harmless with no known cause, but it’s mostly seen in old people. Young people can definitely have it, but it just seems to be significantly less common.
It was never super obvious that she had it as hers was pretty mild. But if you watched her work closely, you would notice it. Or when she would try to show me something under the microscope, I would notice because she couldn’t keep the slide still and everything would be wiggling.
She was absolutely more than capable of doing her job with it though. It just made it seem like she had a bit too much coffee lol. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essential_tremor
I’m going with my inability to think about anything that isn’t currently in range of my senses.
That bill that needs paid, that doctors appointment, the fact that there’s half a gallon of gas in my car, NONE of it exists until I get an email, calendar alert, or I hop in the car and need to be somewhere in 5 minutes.
People take good drugs to reach that state of not thinking about things!
kubicaSometimes I feel like I can't clean up because if I put something away I won't remember about it anymore. Imagine the chaos.
My desk at work is scattered with sticky notes and scratch paper. If I clear them before they are resolved EVERYTHING would fall apart.
As much as I dislike diagnosing strangers on the internet… this is classic ADHD. The brain doesn’t really form working memory so short-term things just don’t exist unless you see them. Meds help but even still I rely on a lot of those same tools you described. I can’t live without my calendar with everything written down. I have daily alarms for set things in my schedule so I don’t forget. Notes around my workspace that don’t go until the task is 100% resolved. I’ve also learned to organize my house so that as many things as possible are visible. If it’s away in a cabinet then it may as well not be there so I have a ton of nice-looking baskets and things all around for organization. I think the only things in my house that are really tucked away are dishes and cleaning supplies, mostly out of necessity for space/safety. And even those I’ll remember because they a separate task will drive me to need them and seek them out.
I spent years thinking I had a serious memory problem. A partner once said my memory was worse than her ex who had brain damage. I accepted it as just a part of me. Turns out, I have severe ADHD and the Adderall does wonders for my day-to-day functioning.
I think your diagnosis is spot on. A few years ago I decided to learn more about ADHD to help me understand my new stepson, and as I’m reading “Unlike a neurotypical brain, someone with ADHD will…” and I realized that I couldnt relate to the “normal” descriptions at all.
I asked my Doctor about my discovery (nearly 40 years into my life) and he said a lot of people thought they developed mental disorders over the pandemic and since I currently had a job, (he didn’t bother to learn it was my fourth one in the last 6 years) that I seemed “to be doing alright enough”.
Fucking asshole.
Some doctors can be real shitty like that sometimes. The medical community’s understanding of ADHD has really evolved a lot over the past couple decades, but a lot of people are still stuck in the mindset that it’s mostly in kids or that if you’re managing your life then it’s not worth worrying about. The good news is you can bypass them! Typically a good doctor will send you to a therapist for an eval, so you can just find your own to do the test. It usually takes longer to get an appointment, but if you can get with a psychiatrist and not a psychologist you don’t even need to go back to a doc for meds. Psychology today’s website is a pretty good starting point to find someone in your area that focuses on ADHA, and possibly even adults with ADHD. The diagnosis takes some time and often finding the right meds can be a long journey sometimes, but when you find what works it can be life changing.
I have ability to ignore pain, stressful situation and/or things I don’t want , it has helped me immensely but also is a problem when I have to understand people’s nature , what type they are, it also does not help me control my emotions, when I am excited to meet some one, I will just talk truth to them.
I believe it’s kind of like autism, cause I know I should control myself but I really can’t it’s like I am on cliff and falling down but I can’t find the rock to hold onto , I just talk.
🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆- Talking about my feelings in person
- Strangers
- Vomit
ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠I know at least two times when I was definitely hallucinating in my adult life, which makes me uncertain how many other times I was hallucinating that I don’t know about.
Ooh I like this one… or do I? Does this comment even exist?
Sure your memory of events wasn’t scrambled? That’s common with our brains. Seeing Yoda sitting on the TV is a different deal.
When I did meth 20-years ago, I had a banger after 3-days. Sat on the phone with my mom, soberly discussing what was happening at my apartment, no idea it wasn’t real. People were walking in and out, chatting with me.
We talking that kinda hallucination? A whole story that played out? Or you just see something for a flash, something that couldn’t be real?
Were you really sleep deprived, by chance? Because it’s actually not overly unusual in that case. Sleep deprivation wreak havoc on the body and brain.
My inability to both talk to new people, and stop talking once I start. It’s like I have to mentally burst through a brick wall, and then can’t figure out how to stop.
I feel awkward as fuck.
EntropywinsIt's OK to not talk...it is also OK to talk too much
Let me try on this one because I feel you.
It’s tough to interact, I feel the same way with literally every person I meet.
Ask a question, ideally open ended, not yes or no.
“Hey this is my friend bigchungus”
You: hey, I’m a buddy of op from his gay porno days. How do you know op?
It incentives the other person to share a little about themselves. And then just be curious. They’ll ask you plenty of questions but the reality is everyone else knows way more about the world combined than you do. Be open, share, but pause and see what their reaction is.
I find most of the people I connect with are people I think I may have nothing in common with but the more I ask them questions the more I realize we are similar and it’s easier to open up to.
Also alcohol. Alcohol and drugs. But mainly the the first part.
frankPodmoreProcrastination. Seriously, I’m meant to be in bed right now!
tacosanonymousNever serious.
That there must be something fundamentally unlikable about me but I don’t know what it is and nobody seems to want to tell me so that I can change it.
I’m not one to default to “counselor!”, but I don’t know how else you get an honest opinion.
I don’t see how a counselor is going to give me an objective answer when they only know my perception of things. They don’t know how I interact with people in real life, no matter how self aware and honest I try to be.
JteeIt’s worth trying. They can breakdown situations and tell you how it looks from an outside perspective be it something you did or something you said.
Without knowing much, if you’re closed off to this idea, maybe you’re closed off to the people you’re interacting with also?
I went to the local counselor at year and I ready don’t like her and do not trust her opinion. It’s not a counselor thing in general, but I genuinely don’t see how someone with such a limited perspective of my personality could tell me why I cant get people to be my friend or where I’m going wrong when interacting with people. Am I supposed to recall past social interactions so they can critique it based on how I remember it? That doesn’t make any sense to me.
You don’t have to stick with the same person. Ask for a consult and if you aren’t vibing with them just move on.
Social workers, counsellors, therapists are trained to talk through these things and understand your thought process. There are basic needs every human has, and you’d be surprised how they can help you with your own introspection.
It can be mock conversations or real ones, you can talk about how you would typically act or respond to people, and they will help you understand others possible perspectives.
There’s a lot a therapist can offer you.
Mental health services in my area are severely limited, unfortunately. We literally have a counselor and an emergency psychiatrist that you have to end up in the psych ward to see. I’d do something about my shortcomings if I had options that were not Better Help, trust me. It’s pretty shitty being aware of your problems and having no means of fixing them and I certainly wouldn’t choose this path.
Sorry to hear your options are so limited. That’s quite unfortunate (seems to be the case for too many people).
Are there any online services in your area? It’s not ideal but you could do virtual sessions?
I’ve been debating whether I want an online service. The privacy issues are a big concern, but so it my and my families mental health. Our only real option here is Telus health and I don’t like the idea of it, but I also don’t know how far we can go without help. It’s a bit of a delicate situation.
Interacting with a counselor is interacting with a person in real life. That’s kinda the point.
no matter how self aware and honest I try to be
Unless you’re not actually doing that?
You’re free to interact with me, anyway you like. Hell, you can call me. I’ll be open and honest with my reactions, nothing to lose. For what it’s worth, I’m old, maybe I got some perspective for you. Don’t mean I’m wise! DM me though. Post responses keep getting lost. Maybe you can help me with that?
And keep working on being self-aware and honest. That never hurt anyone.
At very least I try to be to honest with myself, I’m sure that doesn’t always work because I’m human, but as far as I know I am pretty aware of my faults.
My anxiety and inability to handle bad results and criticism. I’m getting about it, year after year, but it still hurts when I make judgement calls and people are upset.
I’ve recently noticed how often I say “Part of me thinks,” and now it bothers me. I don’t even know when it started, or where it came from.
For example, I’ll say something like: “Part of me thinks I should put a plant on that shelf.”
radixI noticed this with myself saying things are “concerning” when they’re really just amusing. I also say “Oh, really?” superfluously, way too often. I really should stop noticing these things, for my own good, but at least the initial noticing of them was somewhat fun and interesting.
My height. No chance of ever finding a partner.
Whats your height?
1 foot tall
Don’t let your height be the issue! That can’t possibly be stopping you from finding a partner.
It must be something else
For those who can't tellKidding, obviously. Of course it’s the height
Call me Lenny/LeniMy inability to quickly come up with responses in a conversation which causes those conversations to die from nobody saying anything which in turn makes making friends hard.
The longer I know someone/the closer they are with me, the harder time I have acting like myself around them. It gives me anxiety trying to just act like a normal person, I’m suddenly monotone and so muted people can’t hear me.
My family, most longest/closest friends…it’s like they actually don’t know who I am. And my parents are getting older and I can’t act remotely happy or even awake around them. Been this way my whole life.
Sounds like you need some self love! Don’t beat yourself up if you think someone isn’t going to like you because you’re goofy.
At the end of the day, the people you surround yourself with should be people who love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.
You’re probably the most normal person in this thread lol
Maybe I didn’t explain myself. The people I should be most comfortable around, i can’t bring myself to talk to them or be myself. But newer friends/girlfriends see me as however I am. But my family, long term partners and oldest friends? Just see me sanded down, zero personality. I feel like that’s the opposite of normal, from everything ive seen. It’s destroyed all of my long term relationships.
ivanafterallMaybe it's sort of like an addiction to the honeymoon phase? When the excitement wears off, you equate it with the relationship dying. Just guessing.
But my family, long term partners and oldest friends? Just see me sanded down, zero personality
I’m not sure I follow entirely. Is it possible you’re calling the high of adrenaline/new relationship energy “the real you” and once that wears off you’re not “yourself?”
Couldn’t it be that you, like all people, are more outgoing at some times than others? And it’s all the real you?
Holy shit… is there a name for this?? I see myself in your comment
I wish. Because it’d help me get a therapist or help them help me. My old therapist, when I was trying to explain, “the closer I get to someone, the less I can be myself around them,” said something like, “that’s an oxymoron, isn’t it?”
Or it was some shitty, offhand comment like that and then just moved on. Though this is the same guy who, the last time I ever saw him, when I was explaining how sad I felt all the time, how I’d lost all my close friendships because I turned into a shut-in, said “well maybe youre just a melancholy guy.”
I was crying at the time. He never actually helped me with anything. Never pushed me to talk about anything at all except my day to day, like, nothing-important-happened stuff. Fuck that guy.
I do need to find a new therapist, though. I’ve put it off for too long.