balderdashWhat a feeling
ericbombOld guy noticed I had a ton of produce and complimented me at the store.
Bro do you know how rare it is to get like honest compliments from other men?
Dharma CuriousHonestly, the solution to this, I think, is to start complimenting other men. Men don’t compliment each other because they’re afraid of being seen as gay (even if they’re not aware of it, it’s fully ingrained into us from the time we’re children). Breaking that barrier and complimenting other men, and not (openly) caring about that stigma will help other men do the same. Eventually, men will start complimenting each other.
Note, I say this as a gay man, so I’m sort of past the whole humiliation of people thinking I’m gay bit. I understand it would likely be more difficult for a straight guy, because you (they?) have to also worry about losing potential romantic partners if people think you’re queer.
I have found that in the correct context, telling a man that you want to fuck his big ass until he cum in his beard. And again, in the right context, you often are able to.
Nepenthebecause you (they?) have to also worry about losing potential romantic partners if people think you’re queer.
Honestly, it really shouldn't be a worry. Maybe it's me, but unless they're being really obvious about another guy's body, I can't think of a compliment that would give me that impression.
Even muscles, if the subject is in fact jacked, I would just think they're a really supportive person and like them more because of it. The insinuation about their innate personality would briefly grab my attention.
Oh, completely agree. It’s ridiculous for people to fear that reaction, and ridiculous for people to assume something based on a compliment. But it’s one of those things that isn’t going to change until we all just say fuck it and change it. I’m rooting for gen z to do this. Lol.
AtaraxiaTell that to men that have been threatened or even had their asses kicked for doing that. A lot of men out there get violent when they think a man is hitting on them.
theneverfoxA while back I started doing this thing where I give a genuine and specific compliment to a stranger whenever it occurs to me, then immediately disengaging.
In my mind, by the time they’ve processed the words I’m no longer trying to interact with them - I try to be specific so it hopefully feels genuine, but I get out of there immediately
I have no idea if it lands like intended, but some girl complimented my leopard shoes while power walking past, and it was way more memorable. Having to suddenly decode someone’s intentions leaves my mind too busy to internalize a compliment, and usually I just shrug off compliments if it’s not something I’m proud of, but the drive by compliment sticks with me
I got complimented on my hat like three times in two days. I’m never taking it off again.
PsychadelligoatI started wearing a flat cap around mid to late 2019
I’d been looking for a decent one for years and finally found one, so I wore it everywhere (still do)
The amount of dudes complimenting me, asking where I got it, etc. is wild. I think im Up to over 10 comments, which is insane for someone who’s never gotten any in public before
I wish I could wear something like that, but it’d make me feel pretentious. Not that I think people wearing them look or come off as pretentious, but for me it’d feel that way. I couldn’t pull it off anyway since my daily attire is a hoodie and jeans/joggers.
There are so many styles, patterns, and colors of caps under the very wide term of flat cap. I think the pretentious feeling is silly, and probably geographical. I have baseball hats, beanies, newsboys, whatever. It doesn’t have to be your thing, just a thing you have.
I guess I’ve never considered myself that “posh” (not British but can’t think of a better word). Fair enough though might have to give it a try!
As someone who’s daily attire is jeans, converse, tee, and hoodie: it comes down to the type and color, like the other guy said
My daily driver is a cheap one from a two pack off Amazon and people love it
What’re you gonna do with that umbrella faaag?
Growing up with that sort of stupid toxic masculinity no matter how dumb you realize it is… is just hard. Every fiber of your being screams to tell you no, don’t stand out, suck it up, what are you some kinda of douche?
Bill Burr | What are you a fag?
What’s really wild is that it’s so abnormal for men to get positive comments on things that 10 comments in four years is “wild”.
I don’t want to be a downer though, so… nice hat!
ivanafterallWhat kinda hat are we talking? I'm intrigued.
Now there’s a hat I’d compliment!
The #1 cospenis hat.
AeonFelis
Random_German_NameGuy doing checkout at the grocery store the other day finishes scanning my stuff, stops for a second and says:
“You know that movie Bullet Train? With Brad Pitt? You look like him in that right now”
I kinda see where he’s coming from (not really) but I’m not ever gonna forget that shit
A stripper said I have nice skin. It was a good weekend. I've never heard that before.
I get that a lot from nurses before they stab me with needles.
You sly dog.
IndiBronyMy most common compliment from nurses: “You’ve got really nice veins” 😂
What's your secret?
*Complimented
Almost ten years ago, I was walking and as a car drove by, a woman inside it yelled something at me. I couldn’t hear what she said but I assumed she was catcalling me. That memory warms me to this day.
I love it
A pretty young girl told me I had pretty eyes. I was 33 and homeless. 42 now. Won’t forget that, especially since I think my eyes are creepy.
Holy shit! Being complimented by a pretty girl while homeless is off the charts. Those eyes must be something else.
She was the sister of a friend. It’s not like she saw me covered in filth and went out of her way, lol
Not who you're responding to, but I'll admit my mental image was something like Cricket in the later seasons of It's Always Sunny. I'm not proud of it, but I do appreciate the clarification.
Haven’t seen the show.
I know. I know. I should.
It took me a few tries to finally get into it.
donI have long silver hair and have been complimented by two dudes quite younger than me. I returned the compliment, it was nice.
I’m a runner, and I overheard a woman saying to her friend “look at those thighs”, made my day.
GladiusBI played music back in the day. Nothing huge but we played every weekend and were known in the area. I went into a guitar shop to check out a Jackson and thinking I might actually buy one because we were doing so well. They put me into the “special” room with a Messa Boogie half stack and I went off. Look down out the pick guard and I had shredded a pick all over it in dust. Not completely, just not brand new.
I looked up and some kid around 8 or 9 looks up and me and says “you’re awesome!”. Still my favorite music moment. Even better than seeing a mosh pit while on stage.
I was at a random hotel in London for work and was wearing a pretty nice suit. There was a mirrored column near the door and nobody about so I was adjusting my jacket since I’d been wearing a backback. The girl who worked behind the reception (probably 23 and quite attractive, I’m 36) walked past and said “Hey, you look really good.”
Absolutely made my day and I even excitedly told my girlfriend when I got home. It was possibly the only unprompted compliment from a stranger I’ve ever received.
Dan68Nurses used to compliment me on my veins.
I’ll take it
I do love a good vein! I’m not a nurse but I used to draw blood. You just know the job is going to be easy peasy.
I bought a cool looking car and I get compliments for it all the time now. It makes us feel wanted in society. Not like wanted by family but wanted outside of it too.
I really do think this is a straight man experience. There are no shortage of compliments among gay men and not in a sexual way. I do wish it were more common among men in general to compliment each other without people making it weird or thinking there must be an underlying reason for it besides just being kind to one another.
Sometimes it’s where the compliments come from. I get no shortage of compliments about my work, but those barely move the needle emotionally, I’ve always been a lot of labor for a lot of people, being recognized in that light isn’t exactly flattering. In fact it’s the only light I feel I get any recognition in.
Yeah, I imagine, it’s reversed for many women. That they get compliments about their looks a lot, but would feel much more strongly about a once-in-5-years compliment on their work…
1 every 5 years?? Yeah, ok, Mr. Popular.
MinusPiI’m a trans woman. Before I transitioned, the grand total number of compliments I ever received was a big fat 0. Now I receive at least one compliment from strangers every week.
SquirrelHey, that’s pretty good… for a woman.
/s (just in case)
SombyrAlso a trans woman, same experience. Somehow getting compliments all the time has been one of the hardest parts to adjust to. Dunno how to respond to them, and can’t distinguish which ones are creepy because they all feel good after so long of getting none.
CarniMossI once had a kid stop and tell her mom I was the most beautiful man she’d seen because I had colorful highlights. I also had another kid stop and tell her mom that I was cute before said highlights. I never forgot those moments
Once I was walking out of a Target. I passed by a woman and her maybe 6 or 7 year year old kid just in time to hear the kid say “mommy that guy creeps me out”.
Thanks to three concussions before age 5… and my entire 20’s being spent in a drug haze… my memory is pretty shot. But I remember that encounter as clear as day.
I’m sure I’ve received a few honest to goodness unsolicited compliments, but they don’t stick in my mind as much as the derision.
It really has a distinct sting, doesn’t it? Cheers to dealing with it and moving on I suppose.