Marc HeidenNov 23, 2023

This is my Thanksgiving story.

I had to back go to the grocery store on Wednesday because I bought the wrong kind of garlic cloves. So I got in line at the service counter to make a return. Behind me was a woman whose cart was full of pineapples and nothing but pineapples. She was irate. 1/

Show threadMarc HeidenNov 23, 2023
When it was my turn in line, the woman at the counter briefly looked past me and noticed the cart with the pineapples, which was all the pineapple lady needed to begin yelling and brandishing her receipt. The woman at the counter made an “I’m sorry” face and I said it was fine, I can wait. 2/
Show threadMarc HeidenNov 23, 2023
The pineapple lady was angry because there was apparently a discount if you bought five pineapples, and she hadn’t received the discount on her entire cart of pineapples. The store employee told her she’d look into it. 3/
Show threadMarc HeidenNov 23, 2023
Eventually, the store employee learned that there was a limit of five pineapples on the deal, and the lady had nine pineapples, so any pineapples above the limit were going to ring up at the regular price. The pineapple lady was incensed. 4/
Show threadMarc HeidenNov 23, 2023

“Do you know my name?” demanded the pineapple lady.

“No,” said the employee.

“Then just pretend I came into the store again and you didn’t recognize me, and I bought the other pineapples when I came in the second time,” said the pineapple lady. 5/

Show threadMarc HeidenNov 23, 2023

The employee sighed and counted the pineapples in the lady’s cart.

“Okay, but you only have nine pineapples,” said the employee. “So your second purchase would only have four pineapples and it wouldn’t qualify for the discount.”

The pineapple lady was beside herself in anger. 6/

Show threadMarc HeidenNov 23, 2023

“Look, just go and get one more pineapple,” said the employee. “Then you’ll have enough to get the discount on your second purchase.”

“That’s ridiculous,” said the pineapple lady, gesturing to the nine pineapples in her cart.

“It is?” asked the employee. 7/

Show threadMarc HeidenNov 23, 2023
"Of course it is," said the pineapple lady. "What the hell would I do with ten pineapples?!" 8/
Show threadLuke Van In
@marcheiden Solid 9/10. Would read again.
Nov 24, 2023 at 9:57amWeb