I love dogs. I had one as a teen and never had one since. I called him Coffee because it was an easy unusual name that was unique. Not many people drank coffee in our family back then.

But I never in my life could ever understand people who ‘kissed’ their pet. I have a friend with a tiny dog and she loves picking it up, kissing it and letting the dog lick her lips.

I always just keep imagining that this is the same pet that licks its butt and the butts of other dogs when they get together, or doesn’t mind digging into the garbage, licking rotting food or taste testing random feces it found.

My dog will eat condoms and menstrual pads out of the trash and drink piss water in the toilet the the kids never flushed. I’ll never let that sicko lick my face

Do you think those things permanently become a part of their mouth or something?

How do you feel about kissing people? Think of the things they’ve done in the past… This doesn’t really hold water.

You can be reasonably sure your SO has not drunk out of the toilet today. Your dog, less so.