This fucking bird will shred your hand like confetti. Do not approach.
@ptoothfish Looks like the birds turns your hands into free pills...that makes me want to give them to the birds.
@ptoothfish
Birds aren't real
@DelilahTech i refute it thus! *feeds hand into mechanical surveillance and hand-shredding device*
@ptoothfish @kkarhan after shredding your hand it will probably scream exactly like this https://youtu.be/z8SdqOT_no0?feature=shared
Rare Kiwi bird in our back yard showing off

YouTube
@fuchsiii @ptoothfish That's a MicroRaptor asserting dominance over the area...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgf5JOsol34
Amazing facts about the kiwi bird

YouTube
@ptoothfish I think i go to the do not play dice with birds section.
@ptoothfish Just look at the eyes of that thing. Clearly mental.
@ptoothfish The sign is clearly telling the bird that such behavior is forbidden. Are you saying these birds are just flat out ignoring the sign?!
@whreq @ptoothfish Normal behaviour for bad birds
@ptoothfish as long as it doesn't crap on my car
@ptoothfish you can tell from those big psycho eyes
@ptoothfish it's the Iridescent Hand Hole-Puncher.
@ptoothfish
Pigeon = hole punch. Got it.
@ptoothfish now I want a bird shaped hole puncher
@darwinwoodka but do you want a hole puncher that makes bird shaped holes? or a bird-shaped contraption that makes round holes?

@ptoothfish

Before the punched card, there was the punched hand.

@ptoothfish “Do not give birds smallpox”
@ptoothfish
"Do not play tiddlywinks with pigeons"
@ptoothfish Укус какаду отличается от укусов других попугаев.
На нижней части клюва имеются 2 "зубца", которые в сочетании с острой верхней частью помогают рвать и грызть сразу в 3 местах...
Это не то, что вы хотели бы узнать "из первых рук".
@ptoothfish
Warning, local birds will attempt to perform confirmation bias experiments on you...
@ptoothfish The thing about pecky-bird... it's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white.
@ptoothfish A Lesser Hole Puncheon, if I'm not mistaken. Lovely plumage in breeding season.
@ptoothfish He’s carrying a tiny shotgun
@ptoothfish Sounds like what birds would do.