I was supposed to be at a course at 9, two hours away. Was reminded by outlook 8.45. Gee thanks Outlook, very helpful.

Worst part, is that you come off as lazy, a slack or stupid for forgetting something that neurotypical would never forget.

I don’t think Outlook allows for that but I think some calendar systems allow for several reminders for the same event (e.g. 1 week before, 1 day before, a couple of hours and 15 minutes). I haven’t used those kinds of systems in a while, I have a pretty uneventful life, but I remember using it some year ago