That was me being almost every boyfriend you’ve ever regretted.

[clears throat]

“No, no…seriously. You really need to listen to this. But, like REALLY listen. See—Chuck Rainey is slapping here. He’s SLAPPING the bass—even though Steely Dan had specifically asked him not to slap. Right? Like…that's nuts! Actually I have a really good video about this, so gimme a second to log in. You weren't sleeping, were you? Anyway, SO. You know who Bernard Purdie is, right? Oh, man, he had these SIGNS…”