2
Helen Joyce: i'm not exaggerating when i say that this is 100% the best story ever written in human history
Rowling: you haven't heard it yet
Joyce: i don't have to hear it to know it's better than any other story in the world
Rowling:
Rowling: oh

3
Joyce: i don't need to know anything about it or even hear it to say that jk rowling is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life
Rowling:
Rowling: i dunno
Rowling: for sssome reassson thisss jussst isssn't ssatissfying

4
[midnight society]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have a new cormorant ssstrike ssstory
Barker: don't you have your own group to tell that to?
Rowling: no all they do isss praisss me and tell me i'm great
Rowling: it getsss tiring
Rowling: you all wouldn't underssstand

5
Rowling: sso cormorant strike is an ugly detective with a terrible personality who also reeksss of cigarettess and fartss conssstantly and also his hair lookss like pubess
Rowling: naturally the women are all hungry for hiss D
Patricia Highsmith: crazy dames, who can fathom them

6
Rowling: the thing iss women can't get enough of cormorant ssstrike
Rowling: did i mention hisss hair looks like pubess?
Rowling: women jussst look at his sscrotum-like head and think
Rowling: damn i can't NOT fuck that

7
Rowling: but cormorant sstrike hasss no time for women
Rowling: women are all just a bunch of dumb bimboss who only care about sstupid clothes and being shallow
Highsmith: bitches be shopping, it true

8
Rowling: cormorant ssstrike is hired by this rich arissstocrat to resscue hiss adult sson from a cult
Rowling: ssee, his sson is autisstic so he can't be trussted to make decissionss
Rowling: you know how autistic people are
Rowling: they're bassically eternal children

9
Rowling: ssso the dad is all 'i need to have my adult autistic sson declared mentally incompetent sso that i can control hiss life totally and forever'
Rowling: as a good father would

10
King: gosh joanne
King: as a father i have say
King: i would do anything for my boy joe
King: but that seems a little extreme don't you think?
King: sometimes the hardest part of being a parent is letting go
Rowling:
Rowling: you know what ssteve? sshut up
Rowling: jusst sshut up