Whatever this is, it looks like the kind of thing my late grandmother would get talked into buying.
Still thinking about this.
I’m pretty sure this part is important.
@hotdogsladies It’s an open and shut case.

@drdrang Any chance you’d wanna take a crack at this one?

Give it to me straight, Doc. What am I looking at here?

@hotdogsladies What am I, a plumber? I assume there’s a backflow preventer in there, but that’s only because municipalities love to add backflow preventers and then force you to have them inspected every year.

Mainly I just wanted to make a joke about the red case having the words OPEN and SHUT stamped into it.

@hotdogsladies OK, I’ve just scrolled to the new photos, and the words are cast, not stamped. I regret the error.
@drdrang You probably didn’t account for wind shear and ground effect.
@drdrang I am struck by your last sentence and can’t help but think that had your job involved writing a lot of performance reviews (think military or academia) you would have buried many posers by damming with faint praise.
@hotdogsladies