My spouse and I lived in a bunch of countries over the years. We speak Quebec French, English, and Spanish, as well as a smattering of Chinese, Bulgarian, Korean, and a few odds and ends here and there.

We basically speak whatever we think people around us won’t understand. Very colloquial Quebec French in non-French-speaking countries, Chinese around white people, Bulgarian around non-white people, or even a cryptic mix of everything when we’re not completely sure.

We figure anyone who understands is probably someone we want to know… Hasn’t happened very often, but it does happen. So far we weren’t saying anything overly embarrassing when we got caught, but we sure as hell have no filter between us because of this!

I've taught my husband to speak a bit of Japanese, but we don't use it this way because that's extremely rude.

I wouldn’t say we speak in people’s faces, but we make comments to each other about random stuff. I would never say something rude about somebody in their faces, but my spouse might go, say “Can we go back to the hotel, I really need to take a shit” or something silly and unfiltered like that.

I get it, I just still think it's rude and avoid doing so myself.

It’s rude for spouses to have a private conversation? Would whispering be better? Would it be better if they hid in a cupboard where no one could see them?

Yes, it’s generally considered rude to switch languages specifically to hide your conversation.

It’s because most will assume you are doing it to talk shit.