Imagine THIS FACE with an 80 year old man's voice.

Who the fuck thought this was okay?!

I won't keep harping on this, since it's apparently going to be a THING throughout this flick, but even this 'Indy' running along the top of the train looks like floaty cutscene bullshit.

Wow.

WHY THE FUCK IS HIS HAT STAYING ON? This isn't even the most violent thing that's happened to him in this scene.

Oh right, because it's attached to the 3D model. 😉

Even in the cartoon physics of the Unreal Engine it's difficult to suspend belief that this guy not only survived getting mashed in the face on a moving train the way he did, but that he'd be free of any life-long physical scars from it. Christ, SOMETHING on his face; anything. What the hell?

What to hear a funny joke?

"Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny: The Original Soundtrack"

Guess the John Wiliams cover bands were busy. Calling this "sonic wallpaper" is generous.