Sometimes when I get down on myself, I have a think about some of the cool dumb stuff I’ve done along the way that pertains to what I’m currently having big feels about.
Today’s big feels: Who am I to be teaching organisations & fancy folks about leadership and creating positive change that sticks?
Who am I?
Well. I’m someone that survived some pretty fucked up shit as a kiddo & teen.
Someone who looked at the way they grew up and went “nah, there’s gotta be more than this”
I’m a person who’s learned to use words and actions to softly lead folks, and who’s found that empowering people by genuinely believing in them means we
- get along better
- get home sooner
- get a new generation of folks aspiring to be badasses
- weed out the jerks that want the status quo to status and quo
I’m someone that’s accidentally seen as an industry leader, even if some folks don’t much like it (I work in a queer driven industry but may the gods help you if you’re not the right kinda queer)
I’m someone that’s slowly but systematically driving good changes from within the industry, by leading with humanity over KPIs.
My mentees have all made it past the 5 year burn out (we lose 40% of our new grads in those first 5 years), some work larger gigs than I ever have, & all are pretty happy
Sure
I’m never going to be a millionaire or win fancy awards or whatever
But if that’s the end goal for leadership, I don’t want it.
I want to be wilfully bad at capitalism.
I want to lead softly.
I want the folks I lead to feel like they can be leaders when they’re asked to be.
And I want to leave this industry, & any others I may move to, better than they were when I got here.
Also I got elected for uni student council by running on a platform of
- more vegetables and fruit in the canteen
- transparency on university spending
- student radio is not commercial radio so let us play our weird fucking music you eggs
Which yanno
Is still probably one of my best non-theatrical achievements
@tracyh it’s definitely caused a lot of trouble, & still does tbh. And it’s dumb luck that I’m still here to reflect on these things, but it shaped my worldview and driving factors hugely.
And honestly. The folks that took me in along the way ay. So much luck rather than good management there, so many moments when I could’ve gone the same way as others in my family.
@FallenRedNinja yeah, I hear this. Finding (or being found by) the right people, and having the self awareness (or having it pointed out, in my case) to understand when you're repeating unhealthy learned behaviour. It's luck, yes, but there's a lot of hard work that also has to happen to override learned behaviour.
I'm sure you're an amazing mentor and advocate for your work family.
Ninja 🦝 
Tracy