I, Frankenstein 2014,D, story, it doesn't matter. I have no idea how a movie with so many wacky, silly, and straight up idiotic ideas can be so vanilla and downright boring. Aaron Eckhart is a Frankenstein monster who's lived for 200 years and all he's learned is to have a gruff voice and be the most boring monster ever. I guess Bill Nighy needed the paycheck, Jesus dude, don't do this to yourself.

Fatal Exam 1990,D, professor sends students to a haunted house. The story starts with a professor who sounds like Rod Serling and he tells an interesting creepy story about the haunted house but after that everything goes downhill. 90 minutes feels like 4 hours in this brutally boring film. The filmmakers wasted a creepy looking house, on the outside anyway, an okay interesting score all because the director has no freaking idea what's interesting.

No One Gets Out Alive 2021,B-, undocumented immigrant moves into creepy building. Movie does its job and the creep factor is decent but I do think that just a small dash more of lore would have upped the creepy level. I found the creature in the film to be a good design but it just looked too CGI to my eyes and kind of ruined the design. The monster in 2017 The Ritual looked better.

Dracula 2000 (2000),C, modern take on Dracula infused with nu metal and goth. Did not like this movie on release but kind of enjoyed it now. Gerard Butler is not offensive as Dracula but miscast. Late 90s early 2000s CGI hurts atmosphere, don't hate nu metal but inappropriate for film. Needed more practical effects and New Orleans locations. Christopher Plummer is good as is the rest of the cast. Biggest offender is that the atmosphere is not consistent.

Dracula 2 Ascension 2003,C-, narrative continuity is broken and they resurrect/take prisoner Dracula. A good new protagonist, one cool looking vampire and Roy Scheider can't save this film. The reason it's a C- and not a D is listed above. Dracula is almost a non-entity in this film and while the bad guys are okay everything just feels like a narrative waste. The atmosphere is consistent but that atmosphere isn't too interesting. Bummer all around dudes.

Dracula 3 Legacy 2005,C, protagonist from the second film go to Romania to help NATO stop Dracula. My favorite of the trilogy but it cannot cash the check that the filmmakers wanted the pulpy narrative be. The idea of Dracula as a Kurtz type character is wonderful but Rutger Hauer doesn't pull it off, not Hauer's fault but the filmmakers. Dracula is completely wasted, some okay set pieces but in the end it just can't complete what it wants to do.

Summer of Fear 1978,C,prima chiflada llorona vs. prima bruja puta. Made for TV entry level horror film directed by Wes Craven starring Linda Blair. The filmmaking is competent and Blair does an okay job but the movie is pure vanilla even for entry level stuff. It would have been better to lean into the soap opera stuff but this was made for a wider age audience. Blair should have gone more crazy and upped the cry baby routine.

Without Warning 1980,B+, Predator before Predator but with great actors whose sun is setting. 1950s style sci-fi horror movie with no BS and it knows exactly what it is. Martin Landau and Jack Palance give fun performances and the young cast is good. Alien is a taller classical gray alien without the gray, and funny enough the dude who was in the Predator suit is in this suit too. Good stuff.

Jack-O 1995,C, kid has to fight jack-o'-lantern monster that is somehow connected to his family, I think. This film survives or dies on the charms of Halloween and because I'm a fan of the holiday it lives for me. The movie feels like a gateway horror film although there's nudity that completely throws that out the window. Pacing, kills, and acting might be off but again the charm of Halloween and it's low budget look make it a win for me.

Flesheater 1988,C+, dude who was the first modern zombie in Night of the Living Dead makes his own zombie film. Movie starts as a poor man's Night of the Living Dead but quickly becomes its own thing. Bad acting, dumb story beats are overcome by effective kills, gore and a good score. The discovery of the first zombie also had a cool spooky vibe to it. This movie is purely zombies, kills, and gore, being set in Halloween also helps. Faults diminished by a weird charm this film has.

Madman 1981,B+, big farmer kills family is hung and then comes back from the dead. Released same year as Friday 13th part 2 with Friday being the more competently directed and written film but I just really enjoyed this one and prefer it over Friday 2. With the speed of Jesse Owens and the stealth abilities of Solid Snake you don't want to mess with Madman Marz. Mars has a theme song that is terrible but I love it and the score that sounds that it comes from a Casio is good to, deal with it.

Shocking Dark 1989,C+,movies Terminator and Aliens get together and have a baby even though their doctor said they should do no strenuous activity after brain surgery. Dumb Factor/9, WTF Factor/8, FX Factor/3, robot doing stupid shit Factor/7.5, obnoxious little girl who won't shut the fuck up Factor/8.5, fun Factor/ surprisingly, a strong 7. Probably the only movie where I think it's garbage but also a good time especially if you like Italian horror.

The Fury 1978,B-, telepaths and conspiracies by way of Brian De Palma. Not as good as Carrie or Scanners but still a good time. John Williams does a wonderful score, this and Dracula make me wish that Williams did more horror stuff, he's fantastic with it. Horror needed to be amped up and the film could have done with a crazy tracking shot by De Palma. Cast is good but the antagonist needed more time with his breakdown.

The Devonsville Terror 1983,C+, three women are accused of witchcraft and executed, 300 years later three women come to town facing danger from ignorant towns folk. Good locations, creepy scenes, decent villains and Donald Pleasence don't come together in the end but it is an interesting failure. Donald Pleasence and his creepy storyline are completely wasted. It wasn't as weird as Ulli Lommel's The Boogeyman. If it was I probably would have rated higher.

Disciples of the Crow 1983,C,short film of Stephen King's short story bought from King for $1, AKA dollar baby. Everything is effective and competent in this short that uses ambiguity as a strength although I preferred the happy couple in the movie than the bickering couple here. That being said I did find it kind of forgettable I can't pinpoint why.

Children of the Corn 1984,C-, killer kids film that needs kids doing more killing. This movie has a reputation of being a stinker but it's not that bad and I was entertained. I love horror that's set during daytime and open fields but they feel wasted here. Filmmakers decide to give an origin to what happened to the adults but it's a complete let down. It feels like a rated g bloodbath when it needed to be rated hard r. Should have stuck with ambiguity. Terrible climax.

Children of the Corn 2 The Final Sacrifice 1992,B, killer kids are back and this time they're not fucking around, no seriously if you're old and disabled get the hell out of town. Good time and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Fun kills especially against disabled people, decent actors and an okay script make this a lot better than the first one. I wasn't feeling the color timing of the film, the color of the first film was better. I think there's a continuity error but I'm not sure.

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest 1995,C+, evil kid goes to Chicago to spread the good word...of killing no good adults. A new kid is the bad guy in this one or is the same kid from the other movies, I'm not sure and I don't care. He does a good job as the bad guy but the star here is Screaming Mad George and his FX. Part 2 is more fun but this one has better effects, cooler kills because of mad George. The chaos of the climax was fun but the final monster not so much.

Children of the Corn 4 The Gathering 1996,C-, Naomi Watts tries to solve the mystery of why kids are getting sick and coming back killers. The film pulls back on the crazy of parts 2 and 3 to try to make a more serious horror film but the director can't pull it off. Some good kills especially one involving a doctor, can't save the dull mood that is all over this movie. Even the good actors are on cruise control which tells me the director is to blame.

Children of the Corn 5 Fields of Terror 1998, C-, kids get lost and meet killer kids. Not dull like part 4, it is mediocre but so was the last one and there is a feeling of aimlessness. David Carradine and Fred Williams are wasted and the main killer kid is a non-entity. Towards the end of the film some ideas about brainwashed kids come up but it goes nowhere. The climax is okay with some decent kills. Not offensive just a low budget horror film with talent that can't pull off something more.

Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return 1999,D, girl looks for biological mother only finds BS film. Not garbage just mediocre and slightly boring. I don't know how you can hire Nancy Allen and Stacy Keach and completely waste them. The bad guy from the first film is back but he hardly does anything interesting same goes for the killer kids they're almost a non entity. Boring kills, boring FX, semi boring narrative and a villain reveal with no impact make for a film I'll never watch again.

Children of the Corn Revelation 2001,F,Lady goes looking for her grandma who is missing, Terrible, mediocre all around. Two creepy annoying rude elote kids, zero good kills, one miss use of actor Michael Ironside, bad Elote fx, one sexy lady killed by garbage looking killer elote monster, one misogynistic handicap jerk, one veteran with bad ticker, one pothead who can't deliver messages, and a climax I fell asleep to equals, basura Elote sequel. Just two more movies, give me strength Lord.

Children of the Corn Genesis 2011, C-, couples car breaks down then they deal with surreal evil elote stuff, surreal with a small s. Not garbage but not good either, a somewhat interesting failure. The actors are decent, ambiguity and Billy Drago does the heavy lifting of keeping it interesting, shot mostly on one location with no good kills it's a miracle that the film is not boring but in the end the ambiguity of the narrative feels like nobody knows what to do with the story.

Children of the Corn Runaway 2018,C-, single mother and son confront past Elote trauma. If the film series was ever going to go back to being crazy fun like part 2 and 3 it would be with John Gulager but that's not the movie he wanted to make. I wasn't bored but the movie can't support the serious tone that it is going for. The film does look nice though and the actors are good but Clu Gulager is completely misused although you would only need his talents in an all-out crazy horror film oh well.

Final Prayer 2013,C+, investigators for the Vatican go check out strange phenomenon at a English church. An okay found footage film but I saw a comment online that ruined the ending for me so I wasn't too into it. I hate dark scenes that I can't see what's happening and found footage is full of that stuff so I wasn't a happy camper. The actors do a good job but the buildup and lore wasn't interesting me much. Climax is good but I had it spoiled before so I couldn't appreciate the impact.

Dogs of Hell 1982,C-, US army trains Rottweilers to be hardcore killers then they escape. Not garbage but it is playing footsies with a trash pile nearby. There's some gore but the stink of made for TV is all over this film, also some weird inappropriate music cues. Movie plays it completely straight and in most cases that would be hilarious but not here. The closest we get to that is a scientist character who created the dogs but just for a moment or two. No bueno.

The Watcher in the Woods 1980,B-, family moves into countryside where spooky stuff happens. The pieces are here for something special in front and behind the camera but they never come together. Saying that I enjoyed it now more as an adult than when I saw it as a kid. Spoiler warning, the ending is fine but it's just a light show continuing the supernatural theme. The real ending should have been used that involved an alien. In fact the whole narrative should have been wrapped around that idea.

Something Wicked This Way Comes 1983,B, evil comes to a small American town by way of railroad and two boys must overcome it. A wonderful gateway horror film that has the luck of having Ray Bradbury himself write the screenplay. The words, narrative, acting, and directing come together beautifully but Bradbury's words slightly overpower the visuals. Jonathan Pryce is great as Mr dark and Pam Grier is beautifully menacing as Dusk Witch. Not a perfect film but it does its job with elegance.

100 Feet 2008,C+, Famke Janssen plays battered wife who kills husband in self-defense then is placed under house arrest in the same house it happened in. Janssen is good but one or two scenes she needed another take. The music was bad and the fx of the ghost are terrible when computer enhancements are used. One fantastic kill that is hurt by editing and themes of misogyny and what women go through are better explored in recent remake of the Invisible Man.

Jack's Back 1988,B-, killer following the reaper's MO is being tracked by James Spader. A decent thriller with a good performance by Spader but I do wish this movie's crazy level was turned up to 11. Robert Picardo should have also been brought forward in the narrative rather than just being a bit player. There's a scene towards the end with Spader and Picardo that I'm a bit confused at, I'm not sure why Picardo was reaching for his gun.

Scarecrows 1988,B-, mercenary/thieves land on a haunted cornfield. Amateur acting and a silly premise is overcome by filmmakers who know exactly what they need to do. No BS, straight to the point, Mercs versus killer scarecrows, decent kills, creepy locations and atmosphere, appropriate score to enhance what's on the screen, bravo. Although there's a very annoying girl and the decision she makes are even more annoying but all is forgiven in this good horror film.

Frightmare 1981,C+, horror fans dig up recently deceased famous horror actor, and then said actor goes on killing spree. Decent premise, good lead villain, and nice atmosphere are hurt by some boneheaded filmmaker decisions, also just so so kills. The main villain starts the film in a speaking role and is immediately interesting, charming, menacing, and most importantly believable in the role but the filmmakers decided to make him a silent villain with only interludes of speaking, terrible.

The Pope's Exorcist 2023,C+, Russell Crowe plays exorcist and fights a demon. Not a big possession film fan but Russell Crowe makes this film very entertaining. Russell Crowe gives a fun performance and every time he's on screen I have a smile on my face. The movie making Crowe a action star is smart but that means the film becomes more action than horror. The narrative is interesting so that helps but it needed more horror, I would have given it an B-, if it had more horror.

Viking Wolf 2022,C+, Norwegian werewolf film about cop mom and teen daughter who deal with furry stuff. Interesting origin story but a by the numbers werewolf film. Everybody does a good job in front and behind the camera. The movie does run a little long and has some pacing issues but nothing that hurts it. There is a piece of werewolf lore that they use but discard too quickly. They should have leaned into it to pick up the creepy factor, enjoyable but nothing special.

Gargoyles 1972,C, dumb father and daughter investigate strange skeleton then horny dude in sort of decent gargoyle suit kidnaps daughter. When I was a kid this creeped me out, today I found it slightly boring and extremely annoying the decisions the father would make. Dude got to be one of the dumbest college professors ever. This was Stan Winston's first job and while I found the gargoyles outdated the face is creepy on the main gargoyle. Scott Glenn is in it too and is okay.

The Legend of Boggy Creek 1972,D, docudrama on different Bigfoot attacks. I saw this in 2010 I believe and thought it was garbage. It's not garbage but it's not very good either. The film has a very weird tone to it, the voiceover feels like he belongs in a Disney docu nature film from the 50s or 60s and the score and song selection is completely inappropriate to something that's supposed to be scary. I do like the daylight shots of nature though especially a field with an old ruined house.

Return to Boggy Creek 1977,D, non-official rated PG sequel to Boggy Creek. These filmmakers took the weird Disney stuff going on in the original and ran with it, they ran off of a cliff but it was an admirable try. It might be unfair to rate it because I think I saw a version with 20 minutes cut off but I don't think it would have made a difference. It would still be a bad movie. I personally would have had Bigfoot murder the hell out of those kids but that's just me.

Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues 1985,C-, official sequel abandons docudrama and goes straight horror film. 1 dumbass college professor, 1 scrawny dude who is always taking off his shirt, 2 girls who I think are lesbian but don't come out because 1980s Arkansas and fear of Governor Bill Clinton popping out and doing creepy shit, 1 gross scene with a redneck, Sears catalog, and outhouse, 1 squatch parent, 1 thief squatch kid, 1 interesting climax that is not enough to save this film.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow A Shadow Puppet Film 2020,B+, short film of Washington Irving's classic tale told with shadow puppets. Entertaining short with filmmaker who really cares about the tale. Wonderful voice over and beautiful low-key music. In the short making of the director showed some pretty neat tricks he used to get some shots, bravo.

The Dead Next Door 1989,B, zombie squad looks for serum and deals with religious cult. This low budget film shot on super 8 doesn't have the best cast or greatest director but it doesn't need it, the director loves what he's doing and it shows. Fun fx, interesting story that seems to take its love of Day of the Dead and runs with it. The cheap look of the super 8 film really helps this film and adds to the film's vibes. The poster says you would want this on your DVD collection and I do.