And HR people can never be trusted to be on your side on any issue. Never, ever confide in an HR person, getting rid of you in some way is always the easiest solution to any problem.

Only when you first take outside council and then go to HR through them, do you have some sort of protection from getting swept under the rug.

Exactly. It’s no different than never, ever, EVER saying a word to the capital defense force police. Nothing good and only bad can come of it. The rare honest cop will tell you that themselves.

That is what HR is, your office cop.

Ok, counterpoint.

As a white-passing clearly upper middle class person, I have been in situations where I just told the cop exactly what I was doing and why I was there, and got told “well you can’t be here now, go home”. It helped that I wasn’t up to anything illicit, but the determining factor was my Pantone ranking and grooming.

If I’d said “I won’t say anything to you without a lawyer”, I probably would have been in for a lot of hassling.

I’m not saying “be respectful and it’ll be good” or any of that bullshit (got biracial kids, that isn’t the talk I’m going to have).

The bit from formerly-funny Dave Chappele where the white guy tells the cop “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t do that” has a chunk of truth in it.