Besides shitposting, what can Trump do?

It's expected that his lawyers will argue that "the statute of limitations has passed."

HOW-EV-ER, note this delicious tidbit, where "in New York, the clock can stop on the statute of limitations when a potential defendant is continuously outside the state. Trump visited New York rarely over the four years of his presidency and now lives mostly in Florida and New Jersey."

womp-womp

https://apnews.com/article/trump-stormy-daniels-case-explained-50513ce1d9ac25764d39dffbc6fe3c2a

Those are the basic bare bone facts of the NY case. There's a lot more, of course, but this is a starting point.

For the next update, we'll move onto my personal favorite (from a chaos standpoint), the Florida case in which he hoarded federal documents like they were sports memorabilia.

Okay.

Okay okay okay.

Okay.

The Florida case (hereafter referred to as the FL case).

Note: any time I discuss this particular case, please imagine a woman who looks vaguely like Jodie Foster with very short hair sitting across the table from you, leaning forward, occasionally pounding the table for emphasis. She is laughing so hard that tears are spilling down her face while she also bemoans the crumbling of the democratic dream.

In the distance, sirens.

There's, like, nine places to start this one...

We'll begin with a little backstory about the trial judge and a preceding lawsuit, which is, and I shit you not, "DONALD J. TRUMP versus THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA."

https://casetext.com/case/trump-v-united-states

This preceding case is related to the current criminal FL case, about the discovery and seizure of documents at Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort.

Briefly, the National Archives heard that Trump was keeping documents related to his presidency. As the majority of such documents are considered national property, the NA asked for them back.

They got some back. They asked for the rest of them....They got some back...They asked for the rest of them...

This took most of 2021.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/22/us/politics/trump-mar-a-lago-documents.html

It was important to get these documents back not just for the public record of Trump's presidency (e.g. personal communications with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un) but because there was also classified information related to national security.

So in August of 2022, the Justice Department signed off on the FBI entering Mar-a-Lago and seizing the documents. Hashtag: notaraid

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/22/us/politics/trump-mar-a-lago-documents.html

For the first few weeks, Trump and his team didn't appear to have a legal strategy to respond to this. Like, zero. None.

Then, out of nowhere, they asked for a special master to be appointed to review the documents. The special master would be "a third-party attorney [...] to oversee the review of evidence gathered from the beach club in the criminal probe" to ensure all collected files are relevant to the case, and not Trump's personal property.

https://www.cnn.com/2022/08/22/politics/donald-trump-special-master-request/index.html

Me pounding on the table: THEY SAY HE ASKED FOR THE SPECIAL MASTER AFTER SOMEONE ON FOX NEWS ASKED WHY HIS LEGAL TEAM WASN'T DOING ANYTHING MORE, LIKE ASKING FOR A SPECIAL MASTER

A CLOWN SHOW

A CLOWN SHOW FULL OF PENGUINS DRESSED AS CLOWNS

Enter Judge Aileen Cannon.

Cannon was appointed by Trump as a judge to the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Florida.

Cannon has very little judicial experience, and caught Trump's civil case via being the next on the district roster. However, there have been accusations of "judge shopping," or intentionally filing cases in districts where the judges are known elements and their rulings are predictable.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-incredible-mystery-of-how-donald-trump-got-judge-aileen-cannon-in-the-mar-a-lago-case

Me, adding straight vodka to my iced tea: YOU WANNA TALK JUDGE SHOPPING??? LET'S TALK JUDGE SHOPPING, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2023/06/17/florida-federal-judge-donald-trump

Anyway, back to Cannon and the August 2022 case.

She approved the special master, writing that:

“The investigation and treatment of a former president is of unique interest to the general public, and the country is served best by an orderly process that promotes the interest and perception of fairness.”

https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.flsd.618763/gov.uscourts.flsd.618763.64.0_3.pdf

Sounds reasonable, yes? Right?

Actual lawyers and judges didn't think so, citing multiple legal and procedural reasons. In short, it appeared to them that Cannon's decision to appoint a special master was done to help Trump, because slowing down the review of the documents would be a procedural delay in Trump's favor.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-went-judge-shopping-and-it-paid-off-in-mar-a-lago-case

Me, setting my drink on fire:

LOOK FOR A WHILE I THOUGHT CANNON WAS SCARED FOR HER LIFE. LIKE, STOCHASTIC TERRORISM AND FUCKIN' CULT MEMBERS DROPPING OUT OF THE SKY AND INTO HER NEIGHBORHOOD...

WOMAN HAS A FAMILY, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! NOT SAYING IT'S RIGHT, JUST THAT IT'S REALISTIC...

AND THEN SHE DROPPED THAT RULING WHICH SHIT ALL OVER THE PROCESS AND I REALIZED SHE WAS, LIKE, JUST ANOTHER CULT MEMBER...

And all of this took months to resolve, as the Justice Department kicked the case up the courts.

During which the special master got started on review...and then stopped...and then started again...and then stopped...

Finally, in December of 2022, a three-judge panel on the 11th Circuit agreed "with the government that the district court [Cannon's special master ruling] improperly exercised equitable jurisdiction, and that dismissal of the entire proceeding is required"

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/major-setback-trump-appeals-court-ends-special-masters-review-seized-m-rcna59714

I'm going to leave this here for now, as the 11th Circuit's ruling paved the way for Jack Smith's criminal case.

And oh lord, you effin' marmots, THAT is when shit starts to transcend BIZARRE and go into SHARK-PUNCHING SQUIRREL-FLINGING LEVELS OF WHACKADOO

All right.

Florida, Round 2. FIGHT!

There will be a Round 3 due to the length of this nonsense, but for now...enter Jack Smith.

On November 18, 2022, Jack Smith was appointed by Attorney General Garland to serve as the Special Counsel overseeing multiple areas of crime and/or criming in respect to the 2020 election.

https://www.justice.gov/d9/press-releases/attachments/2022/11/18/2022.11.18_order_5559-2022.pdf

Of relevance to THIS PARTICULAR INDICTMENT is Item C:

"The Special Counsel is further authorized to conduct the ongoing investigation referenced and described in the United States' Response to Motion for Judicial Oversight and Additional Relief, Donald J Trump v. United States, No. 9:22-CV-81294-AMC (S.D. Fla. Aug. 30, 2022) (ECF No. 48 at 5- 13), as well as any matters that arose or may arise directly from this investigation or that are within the scope of 28 C.F.R. § 600.4(a)."

Essentially, this is the phase of Jack Smith's investigation that looks at Trump's document theft and crimes and/or criming related to this theft.

On June 8, 2023, Trump was indicted on 31 separate counts relating to the mishanding of national defense documents. He was charged under the Espionage Act for "gathering, transmitting or losing defense information, which also includes refusal to return information that is demanded by the government."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/espionage-act-trump-mar-a-lago-fbi-search-warrant/

Trump is not alone. His former butler and body man, Walter Nauta, helped Trump in the coverup so he's got six charges against him for withholding evidence and making false statements.

Recently, a superseding indictment was filed for a third person...but we'll get to the Wet Server Room Incident later.

In a baller move which made Twitter enjoyable for a whole 36 hours, Smith unsealed the charging indictment. Not only is it a damning read but the photos are surreal, with bankers' boxes full of national secrets kept in a basement beneath large water and sewage pipes, on a ballroom stage, and in a bathroom with a chandelier which had recently given birth to a baby chandelier.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/photos-from-trump-indictment-show-boxes-of-classified-documents-stored-in-mar-a-lago-shower-ballroom

But...

Smith has a reputation for playing it safe, for filing charges which are ironclad. There was a chance that if he filed against Trump in Washington D.C, then Trump's lawyers might get the case dismissed due to questions over where the document theft occurred versus where the document storage and mishandling occurred.

So Smith chose to file in Miami.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2023/06/06/miami-grand-jury-trump-classified-documents/

Which means...SHE'S BACK!!!

JUDGE AILEEN CANNON IS BACK, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

NOT SNOW NOR SLEET NOR JUDICIAL REPRIMAND NOR PURE IGNORANCE OF THE LAW CAN KEEP HER DOWN!

(Part 3 of FL case coming tomorrow.)

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/10/us/politics/judge-aileen-cannon-trump-documents.html

Okie-dokie, Florida, Round 3!

I'm trying to keep this summary concise, but that means a lot of chronologically important events get flopped out of order. Here's a good timeline of what's happened in this case, and when it happened.

However, what this timeline leaves out are the many instances where Trump et al. attempted to cover up the crimes and/or criming.

So let's hit those notes because I promised whackadoo and this is where I shall deliver the whackadoo.

https://time.com/6286062/trump-classified-documents-investigation-timeline/

Whenever anybody talks about Watergate, you get that old saw where "It wasn't the crime, it was the coverup."

That's...uh...let's say it's extremely relevant to the Florida case.

Remember how the National Archives asked for the documents back? This isn't a new phenomenon. When people leave public service, they sometimes walk off with property that belongs to the archives.

For instance, Joe Biden recently found multiple boxes of classified documents in his garage.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/biden-documents-marked-classified-wilmington-delaware-garage/

So did Mike Pence.

However, when they found these documents, both Biden and Pence said, "Oops, my bad," and returned them to the National Archives (or other appropriate storage locations).

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jun/02/mike-pence-classified-documents-no-charges

Trump, in contrast, did not.

Not only did he fail to return the documents when asked, there is a significant honkin' body of evidence which indicates that he selectively returned SOME documents, chose to keep OTHERS, and then lied and claimed to return them ALL.

This happened multiple times, and he brought in others to help him move and hide (legally, physically, and electronically) those documents he wanted to keep.

Jack Smith is having NONE of these shenanigans. They ALL went into the original charging indictment...and follow-up charges.

Yes, we're about to get to the wet server room, hold on.

Picture this: Bedminster. 2021.

Trump is speaking with two ghostwriters (or a ghostwriter and the publicist, I've heard it both ways) for Mark Meadows, his former Chief of Staff.

He pulls out a document "related to Iran and how to confront it militarily" (aka: an attack plan) and shows it off. He also brags about how he shouldn't have this since he's no longer POTUS.

We know this because there's a recording of the conversation.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-lawyers-pentagon-classified-documents-iran-recording/

This is not the only incident of its kind, and the rumors make their way back to the government that Trump is just, y'know, casually waving around top secret military documents to two randos he's entertaining in his New Jersey country club.

(I'm guessing there was also major concern about what he's saved to show to people he actually wants to impress.)

This kicks off the call-and-response of "can we get the documents back" and "sure here they are."

Except he didn't give the documents back, and lied about it to the point where he had lawyers sign off on documents.

One lawyer, Christina Bobb, "signed a sworn certification letter on June 3 that stated all classified materials being kept at Mar-A-Lago had been turned over to the government following a 'diligent search' to find all remaining documents, in compliance with a subpoena."

https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisondurkee/2022/10/10/fbi-interviewed-trump-lawyer-who-signed-off-on-claim-there-were-no-more-documents-at-mar-a-lago/?sh=426872d051cb

Of note is that Bobb did not write the letter herself.

"NBC and the Guardian report that letter was drafted by Trump attorney Evan Corcoran and not Bobb, who did not search for the documents at all herself, and Bobb told investigators she only signed it after insisting that it be rewritten to state she was swearing there were no more remaining documents 'based upon the information that has been provided to me.' "

Look, I'm not even an internet lawyer but that's ALL OF THE ALARMS.

ALL OF THEM.

And then there were the alleged dress rehearsals, where Mar-a-Lago employees would practice moving Trump's documents around to keep them out of the feds' hands.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2023/05/25/trump-classified-documents-mar-a-lago/

(I am not sure how to square the circle where there were rehearsals to keep the documents safe versus how the documents were actually treated. See: photo of box kicked over with top secret files spilling out.)

But now...now we get to the Wet Server Room, where "an employee at Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago residence drained the resort’s swimming pool [in October 2022] and ended up flooding a room where computer servers containing surveillance video logs were kept."

https://www.cnn.com/2023/06/05/politics/mar-a-lago-pool-flood-suspicions-prosecutors-trump-investigation-classified-documents/

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, that actually happened.

Why is this significant? Because with all of this back-and-forth over the documents, there's presumably video evidence of intentionally moving them, plus time stamps.

Now, if we were charitable, we'd all go excuse me, no, technology no longer works like that. Everyone knows about document recovery. Plus there's cloud storage backups! There's no way this was a real thing that was intended to be part of a crime.

Stop being suckers, folks.

On July 27, a superseding indictment was filed to add "a new defendant, Carlos de Oliveira, Trump’s property manager at his Mar-a-Lago property."

There are "voluminous texts between de Oliveira and Nauta immediately after Trump would have been informed of the subpoena for the server that points to the pair plotting, as well as documentation of respective phone calls between the two men and Trump."

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/07/new-mar-a-lago-charges-against-trump-jack-smith.html

If you would like to read the new superseding indictment, it's here.

It is a hell of a thing, especially this paragraph, where Trump and Nauta "did knowingly and willingly falsify, conceal, and cover up by any trick, scheme, and device a material fact; that is--during a federal grand jury investigation and a federal criminal investigation being conducted by the FBI, [they] hid and concealed [...] continued possession of documents with classification markings."

https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.flsd.648654/gov.uscourts.flsd.648654.85.0.pdf

And this is where I'm ending the Florida case summary, as the trial date has been set for May 20, 2024.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/trial-date-set-for-next-may-in-trumps-classified-documents-case-in-florida

Good morning and welcome to the summary for the third indictment. This is the big one, the one that most people think of when they think of Trump going to jail (at least until recently, as Georgia has been ON IT). Like the FL case, this is so involved that the summary will be in multiple parts.

On August 1, 2023, a grand jury indicted Trump "on charges stemming from his efforts to remain in power after he lost the 2020 presidential election."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-indicted-grand-jury-jan-6/

"Trump faces four charges: conspiracy to defraud the United States; conspiracy to obstruct an official proceeding; obstruction of and attempt to obstruct an official proceeding; and conspiracy against rights."

The two major elements of these charges are: fake electors and Jan 6, 2021.

This is an oversimplification, as these two elements are interwoven and this gets complicated, so bear with me.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-indicted-grand-jury-jan-6/