How do I (27M) break up with my girlfriend (39F) of 6 months when she did nothing wrong?

https://lemmy.world/post/3567669

How do I (27M) break up with my girlfriend (39F) of 6 months when she did nothing wrong? - Lemmy.world

Even despite the age gap, this was the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. It was based on mutual respect, trust, communication, and an understanding of each other’s time and goals. I really like her as a person – she’s wonderful. But I also think we’re just not the right fit for each other romantically or sexually, and I’ve slowly begun to realize this over the last few weeks. A couple of nights ago, I broached the subject and mentioned our sex drives were not super aligned. Mine is much higher than hers, and we both acknowledged neither one of us expected the other to change nor did we pretend it was even possible. She took it very hard, though, and spent about 2 hours crying on my couch while we talked. We didn’t officially break up, and I know she wants to continue trying. I think she believes I am the one for her, and while she is a wonderful person, she just isn’t the right one for me specifically. How should I go about doing this? I had been hoping the conversation would have led us to that conclusion, but I couldn’t find the guts to end it then, especially because we went from joking around and laughing together than exact night like nothing was wrong to her crying in my arms on the couch. I feel like I’m setting her up for heartbreak, but I know it’s not fair to either of us to continue in something that I am not long-term invested in.

Sadly, there’s no easy way to do this.

Sometimes, love just isn’t enough. That’s all there is to it.

Although, reading your post, it seems to be mostly about sex drive (or it’s the only thing you actually mentioned) so ask yourself, are you ready to lose such a beautiful relationship over “not enough sex” ?

There’s no wrong answer, not trying to apply a judgement of any kind here. But only you can answer this.

Well, I think it’s probably a little more than just sex drive, but that is a large part of it. It’s a once every 3 weeks vs. multiple times a week or more difference, which is hard for me. I guess you’re right. Just need to rip off the band-aid. Ugh.

Man, she might be on a medication or something that’s suppressing her drive. Imagine for a moment that I’m a month, her drive aligns with yours. Is this worth keeping then? If so, talk to her about working together on figuring this out.

If it’s still not, then yeah. Time to bite the bullet.

That happened to me with gfs who started birth control pills. Seems like a bit of a paradox.
Sounds like it’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. Just not the way you probably wanted it to
I hate that this is correct