I’m really beginning to see how the Fediverse can be complicated for new users

The fediverse is just the internet as it was designed to be. A network, not a broadcasting medium. A place for connecting people, not just consumers and corporations.

Choice means responsibility. It’s a feature, not a bug. But sure, it’s also paradoxical.

In answer to your question, I’d say just slow down a bit. Forget about self-hosting. Just pick a mainstream instance like this one and jump in. That’s what I did. You can make changes later as appropriate. That was impossible where you were before.

Honestly, while I love the ideology behind the Fediverse and Activity Pub, it seems like fragmentation is just getting worse and worse as it grows. The defederation drama and the forks upon forks of Misskey for instance is getting a little nuts. Maybe its just a transition period especially with the implosion of Reddit and Twitter, but its a concerning trend that is holding the system back in my opinion. I agree about the fediverse being more like internet as it should be though.