I'm not sure how much longer till I break. I am trying so freaking hard to be positive and upbeat. I make jokes, I laugh...but I honestly just want to scream and sob. Yes, I know others have it worse, so I should 'suck it up ' but damn, I could use a break.

We lost Dad. Then Hubby's Mom. Now Mom has cancer. I'm not sure I can keep up this go with the flow bullshit much longer. But I don't want to breakdown in front of Mom, she's having a hard enough time, but trying not to show it. I have to be the strong one. Cause if I crumble, so will she.

So here I sit, in the dark, typing out feelings on my social media feed, while trying to not wake Hubby by crying too hard. I'm sorry for being so selfish.