I mean…it kinda makes the most sense to bring Jesus back.

• Still none of us would leave the house to rent movies if blockbuster came back.

• None of us have shopped at toys r us since were had our own money to spend, so toys r us wold exist to us all the same way it does now: a fond memory.

• RadioShack…I mean, would anyone not buy their shit online if that happened? Nah.

And if you bring Jesus back…he’s a socialist pacifist Jew that might have a chance of setting the worst America has to offer right on their misguided opinions. We need more powerful anarcho-socialists, especially powerful ones—and I mean, literally powerful. He is purportedly magic. Boom. Goodbye capitalism.

No question. Bring Jesus back. And Conan.

I mean, if we’re bringing like Bible Jesus back, I’d agree. But if we were to bring back the actual Jesus, he’d probably just be some religious lefty with a podcast and no one would care.

I’m not sure how a socialist jew half way around the world from me is going to help me find a specific value capacitor that I need immediately to fix an AV reciever I just picked up from goodwill.