Mastodawn

koda - NSFW - 18+ only Aug 3, 2023

Anyone here in fedi know of useful resources (experts, articles, books, videos, podcasts, con sessions, whatever) on... idk what to call it... Internet safety and online hygiene?

I've noticed that in kink & queer communities in particular, there seems to be a lot of folks that might be more vulnerable to the dangers of online interactions, and I'm curious if there exist any resources to help folks stay safe & healthy when interacting in this virtual space.

(Boosts appreciated to gather info!)

Pup Crow Aug 2, 2023

Like, lots of young people, neurovarious people, lonely people, and systemically oppressed people who all might have varying ways they could be taken advantage of or led down unhealthy or outright physically dangerous paths.

I'm wondering about resources about personal privacy, emotional manipulation, parasocial reliance, financial dangers, etc. Really anything that you've come across that might be helpful to others.

Thanks, beautiful nerds, awruuf 💜

Fatkat Aug 2, 2023

@PupCrowbar I'm going to recommend Cognitive Behavior Therapy in general, Dialectic Behavior Therapy specifically. CBT systems can very much help manage the emotional impact & boundary issues social media poses. It's not going to cover everything (e.g. verification/vetting content is important but not MH related) but I find these systems legitimately helpful enough that I think everyone stands to benefit from them. It's also easier to practice when other folks understand or are familiar w/ it. .

Pup Crow Aug 2, 2023

@fatkat that's a great recommendation, thank you! Out of curiosity, do you have any opinion as to whether CBT can be self-administered, or if it should generally be practiced -or at least initially started - with a professional therapist?

Fatkat Aug 2, 2023

@PupCrowbar There's workbooks freely available online for DBT. I always see materials for specific types of CBT, not really the umbrella phrase. So there's self-help entry-points but you want to have a clinician teach you & to be able to discuss lessons. I was exposed to it having to go to an PHP/IOP program. I don't quite know how you sign-up w/o a big reason. Also, like golf, there's ways to practice it wrong but be effective. Having a trained 3rd party helps avoid that.

Fatkat Aug 2, 2023

@PupCrowbar Here's an example of some worksheets I found on-line. https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheets/dbt/none
For a full intro to DBT you want to find something that covers the 4 main "pillars" Distress Tolerance, Interpersonal Communication, Mindfulness(they copied that entire pillar from Zen), & Emotional Regulation. Essentially, these systems all provide a structured approach to applying coping skills and don't really conflict since they are all striving for good emotional hygiene.

DBT Worksheets | Therapist Aid

Download free DBT worksheets. Topics include emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, and more.

Therapist Aid

Fatkat Aug 2, 2023

@PupCrowbar I think MH improves and degrades like regular health. (MP vs HP) If we think of it like that we should really have things like preventive MH practices and the equivalent of MH 1st aid/triage. Sorry for the tome, I can go on about this for a while.

Pup Crow Aug 2, 2023

@fatkat don't be sorry, this is great, I really appreciate it! It's a lot to take in right now, but I'm considering trying to compile some resources to be able to easily share out in the future. Would you mind if I reach out to you again at that point, if I wind up going down that path?

Fatkat Aug 2, 2023

@PupCrowbar I would not mind at all. I think a lot of people assume I'm spouting psycho-babble and not proven psycho-therapeutic technique. I might not be certified (maybe I should try?) because I'm not a clinician but I use this stuff everyday in ways to help me and it's effective. I've also found, clinicians can teach the concepts but you have to learn how to apply the techniques to your situation. No one else can really do that for you.

Pup Crow Aug 2, 2023

@fatkat yeah, that's ok! I'm not necessarily looking for professional answers, just seeking examples of things individual people have encountered that helped them stay physically and mentally safe and healthy when interacting with online spaces.

Thanks so much!

Fatkat Aug 2, 2023

@PupCrowbar One last ranty point. I hate how corpo-land scooped Mindfulness and started pedaling a watered down version of it. I described four pillars. Imagine that as a stool w/ 4 legs. You can sit on a seat with 1 leg and it can sorta work but wouldn't you prefer having a stable base and not a single leg made of balsa?

InfinityBear Aug 2, 2023

I have seen some that's more targeted for neurodiverse but I didn't save them. However I do find a lot of stuff useful from Watts The Safe word, especially the older stuff. Not specific for ND but a lot of just kink safety

https://youtube.com/@WattsTheSafeword

Watts The Safeword

A kink friendly, sex education channel. Watts The Safeword is about breaking down stigmas, answering questions and sometimes traveling places with a number of guests! We try our best to make sex less scary for the people of the internet! Play safe, educate yourself and always act with consent. Remember that, while we enjoy our kinks and play, we are never end all, be all experts and are always learning new things ourselves. Should you have insight or disagree with information we've presented, please feel free to share that knowledge with us as well as the community! Send any letters or packages to our PO Box: Watts the Safeword 2370 Market St STE 103 PO BOX #340 San Francisco CA, 94114

YouTube

Pup Crow Aug 2, 2023

@InfinityBear this is fabulous, thanks for the link!

Pup Denali Aug 3, 2023

@InfinityBear @PupCrowbar they specifically have an episode on social media usage https://www.wattsthesafeword.com/podcast/bdsm-car-cast

BDSM: Buddies Doing Social Media — Watts the Safeword

We're on the road again and off to teach a class all about BDSM: Buddies Doing Social Media. From adult content to just trying to be an active kinkster online. What are the dos and don't? What hardships have we gone through and how do you get started with a fan account? Tips, tricks and so much more

Watts the Safeword

Pup Crow Aug 3, 2023

@thepupdenali @InfinityBear omg this is *perfect*, thank you! (They have a lot of content so it was very unlikely that I'd have stumbled across this coincidentally 😅)

Pup Denali Aug 3, 2023

@PupCrowbar you're welcome! I put in a proposal to do a panel on mental health at a pup weekend and internet safety is part of it, so if I run across anything good I'll send it your way.

Pup Crow Aug 4, 2023

@thepupdenali aaah that's awesome! That's kind of exactly what I was considering - trying to put together resources for people that want to do panels on internet safety at cons and other events.

I think it's super important to have skills & tools to stay healthy when dealing in online spaces - awesome that you're trying to help with that!