What is the optimal length that a couple should date before moving in?
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.perthchat.org/post/184069 [https://lemmy.perthchat.org/post/184069] > All I found with citations was that it’s best to wait until marriage before cohabitation, but that boomer talk ain’t gonna happen for zoomers. > > Otherwise, 1 article said “wait as long as possible” but I need a month/year number lmao.
i would consider it a well-known fact that there is a link between cohabitation before marriage and higher rate of divorce.
granted, divorce rates are rising anyway. but to be totally honest, if OP considers this boomer talk, it just speaks to lack of insight and life experience (which you will get when you move in with someone, to be fair). also, looking for an exact number to reach some kind of threshold just seems like a cry for validation. you certainly don’t need to gain approval from people on the internet to make a decision (myself included). you won’t need to know a number when you’re ready, because you’ll know the time is right.
regardless of what i said, i hope you find further research on the matter (try using pubmed or national institute of mental health resources) and i hope you find happiness if you’re taking that next step in life.
I’m actually having a hard time believing that there is a link between cohabitation before marriage and a higher rate of divorce. Could you provide a resource for that?
From my perspective, I’d imagine that one would want to cohabitate before marriage as it puts the relationship through a “stress test” of sorts.
i provide a couple of links below in a response. i’ve heard this topic debated for years, but those two links were just recent output.
i agree that it makes sense that testing the waters before marriage would be good, but i think that it creates a difference in expectations for the relationship going forward. i think that, at least for some portion of the population, marriage is a true “do-or-die” decision, so once the vows are said, some things might start changing in the relationship dynamic. in terms of cohabitating, it could a difference in how finances are handled before and after marriage, or how household responsibilities are divided in the new era.
so my point is that cohabitating could create a false sense of security within the relationship. and i say that with the expectation that we all struggle with communication, especially in romantic relationships.
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