Jesse"Voting with your feet" is a backstop not a first resort. The first resort should be democratic decision making. We should not accept instances where the users don't collectively have ultimate authority over policy and defederation decisions.
Ben@misc that too is not a decision that needs to be made globally. Say the instance is a university and the users the students. Why shouldn’t the university investing the resources make some decisions? This dilemma is even clearer when you offer an instance to the public and get overrun by trolls.
Nothing wrong with people picking Democratic instances either. And there is a big big grey area of just figuring stuff out and finding solutions on a case by case level.