pineapplefriedricePeople of Lemmy who have either "reinvented themselves" or gone through a mid/quarter-life crisis, where did you start off and where did you end up?
Pandoras_Can_OpenerI was born into an abusive “family”. Fled into my head. Became the quiet brainy kid. Underfed and sleep deprived but did well in school and most people ignored the abuse.
Eventually studied at university, very high achieving, still hiding in my head. Super awkward with people. Autism didn’t help. The awareness that I was autistic made several light bulbs go on in my head.
I stopped contact with all of the exfamily and after uni wanted to focus on healing the trauma. Picked up several chronic diseases, realized I was non binary, got adopted by a cat.
Currently fighting to be able to work, if I manage I’ll not go for academics as I always thought I would but for helping animals. Trying to get out of head. Have emotions, talk to people.
Can you elaborate on being in your head?
Sure. I’m just not sure how to elaborate. :/ Do you have any specific questions or thought process you’d like me to comment on?
You second guess and over analyze every decision you make because your abusive parents programmed you to believe everything you did was wrong.
Actions that another person would not think twice about. But due to your learned insecurity, you cannot stop thinking about it, and think everyone hates you for innocuous actions. You may even make legitimate mistakes. But they are not as determental as you tell yourself.
I went through something similar, as you can tell. Therapy changed my life. Specifically a certified clinical psychologist. “Therapists” have a lower education require and there are a lot of bad ones. Clinical psychologists are doctors.
Also escaping into fantasy worlds, having entire relationships in your head, denying all your emotions and only focus on cold hard facts.