spankinspinachJul 20, 2023
Angus McIntyre

I keep hearing conservatives say they want to “own the libs.”

Lib ownership may seem attractive, but once you own a lib, you have to care for it. Libs need constant feeding and watering, and must be taken for walks twice a day. A lib can live seventy years or more; owning one is a lifetime commitment.

I'm worried that many conservatives just aren't up to the responsibility.

Remember: “A lib is for life, not just for Christmas.” Think hard before getting one for YOUR young conservative.

Jul 20, 2023 at 10:50amIvory for Mac
Show threadAndrew PerforsJul 20, 2023
@angusm I can see why they make this mistake though. Libs are extremely cute and photogenic.
Show thread🍸Pooka🥕Boo🍸Jul 20, 2023
@AndyPerfors @angusm 😂🤣😂
Show thread-dsr- (not a dog)Jul 20, 2023

@angusm

You forgot to mention that libs prefer to live in communities rather than being kept alone (involuntarily: libs also need a private space to retreat to on a regular basis). Many conditions which the average conservative finds perfectly reasonable are intolerable to libs and will provoke defiance, protests and eventually rebellion.

Show thread🍸Pooka🥕Boo🍸Jul 20, 2023

@angusm

Because they are typically racists, sexists, and any other "...ists" you would like to add, I would say their "owning" is akin to them wanting people as slaves. Just sayin....

Show threadSteve PopovichJul 20, 2023
@lednabm yes, that phrase is a "tell" that gives away their secret...they really want to own slaves.
Show thread🍸Pooka🥕Boo🍸Jul 20, 2023
@sspopovich They're Christians; that's all I need to know they're evil.
Show threadTor Iver WilhelmsenJul 21, 2023
@lednabm @angusm Yes, but as Florida soon will teach its children, owned people gain valuable skills.
Show threadKarlito_KanasisJul 20, 2023
They also expect you to pay for everything.
Show threadKerri LevineJul 20, 2023

@angusm

#ColorMeLibtardThen

Show threadDeterioratedStuccoJul 20, 2023
@angusm
To be fair, they're working hard on reducing libs' lifespans.
Show threadPeter Drake HAS MOVEDJul 20, 2023
@angusm Soon you'll only be able to rent libs and the corporation will brick them if you miss even one monthly payment.
Show threadRichardTEJul 20, 2023
@angusm
I also keep hearing conservatives say they want "Smaller Government", when what they really mean is "Smaller Democracy".
Show threadTrue SlickyJul 20, 2023

@RichardTE @angusm I interpret "smaller government" as "straight up autocracy."

"Checks and balances" are so 18th century, amirite? But we must--MUST--keep the Electoral College for some reason....!

Show threadTheBeeWritesJul 20, 2023
@angusm you are so right!!!!! 😉
Show threadJ Mark SproulJul 20, 2023

@angusm

Ours took Canada to the Supreme Court & lost.

Then jumped right behind the Lib PM when some money was dangled in front of him. But lambasted the PM for overspending.

Show threadDoug Baker - Elbows Up! 🇨🇦Jul 20, 2023
@angusm
Naaahhh - only the first 50 years or so are Lib, then they magically change to Cons.
Show threadGrinning Cat   🚫👑Jul 20, 2023

@SonofaGeorge @angusm Nope, libs stay libs. It's just that fewer stressed, oppressed people live long enough to become *old* liberals.

(There was a thread about that recently... I'll come back and add the link if I find it.)

Show threadPhil ReesJul 20, 2023
@angusm Own us? They don't even want to rent.
Show threadJames BowJul 20, 2023
@angusm Seriously, though, how sad must their lives be that they would devote so much time trying to embarrass people simply because they disagreed with their political aspirations. It speaks to gaping hole in their own lives.
Show thread2¢Jul 20, 2023
@angusm on the other hand, if you want to make a fricassee, libs are better than veal. So there's that.
Show threadKen KemperJul 20, 2023
@angusm adopt, don't shop.
Show threadJoyographicJul 20, 2023
@angusm Care and feeding will be expensive- all that organic food
Show threadgrob (teeth era) 🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️Jul 20, 2023
@angusm think of all the avo on toast you'll have to feed them. They're expensive to keep!
Show threadJosephJul 20, 2023
@angusm I died reading this 😂
Show threadMickJul 20, 2023
@angusm The gop don't give a shit about anyone, born, unborn, old , young. Nobody except their rich handlers and their Putin agents.
Show threadPaulaJul 20, 2023
@angusm they just want slaves back.
Show threadAviva GaryJul 20, 2023
@angusm brilliant
Show threadxs4me2Jul 20, 2023

@angusm

Spot on! 😇

Show threadMichael PorterJul 20, 2023
@angusm @lisamelton Conservatives aren’t great at caring for other people in general…
Show threademurphy42Jul 20, 2023
@angusm Also they're infectious.
Show threadunion whoreJul 20, 2023
@angusm they can just pay lib service though
Show threadKrisvdmJul 20, 2023
@angusm also, they require craft beer
Show threadArena Cops 🇺🇦✌Jul 20, 2023
@angusm Love that typology of libs hard to own by career slaveholders. 👍👍👍✌
Show threadJoan AlbrightJul 20, 2023
@angusm Also avoid interacting on full moons unless you want to become one.
Show threadAustinJul 21, 2023
@angusm,
Love it!
Show threadDVHenkelWallaceJul 21, 2023
@angusm you’re forgetting the skills they will acquire.
Show threadCharlesflorianJul 21, 2023
@angusm The other problem is once you own the lib, you also have to keep track of their dependencies, perform any necessary security updates... it's a lot of work owning some libs.
Show threadRunoratsuJul 21, 2023
@angusm Maintaining a lib so it stays compatible with surrounding software is a lot of work anyway.
Show threadMikeDunnAuthorJul 21, 2023

@angusm

I want a pet lib, Mommy! I promise I'll do everything. You won't have to do a thing!