I recognise this. My sister had anorexia and was in danger for her life many times. I received some quite difficult phone calls and messages due to this. I have been scared of the sound of my phone for many years. I even got palpitations when I heard the sound of other people’s phones in public if it was similar to the sound my phone used to have.

Over time, the anxiety got less and less. I now still prefer to have my phone in silent mode, but I do not get stressed when the sound is on anymore or when I hear it. I think it got better once I got EMDR treatment for the PTSD I had due to my sister’s illness.

I, of course, cannot diagnose you or anything. But it might be a good idea to get some professional support. For me, it was difficult to get the help, as I did not want her to blame herself or feel bad about something she couldn’t do anything about. Her life was already hard enough. On the other hand, I felt guilty about getting help and not telling her. I did the latter and just got the help I needed without telling her.

I am not saying lie to your wife. My idea was to tell my sister eventually when she was stronger. I do want to say that if guild or wanting to protect your wife is stopping you from getting the help you need, maybe you can just go and figure out together with the therapist how you can tell her and involve her in the therapy. You are important too and you deserve help and support too.

Thanks, I will wait some more time to see if it gets better. It’s only been some months since we got back on our feet. If time doesn’t help, I’ll try getting us both on therapy again.