This paper about attitudes to prejudice and bigotry in physics explains/demonstrates something I have deep personal experience of and think is really important - yet often denied.

I am white and also studied physics and I used to inhabit this STEM mindset of believing that I was (/should be) perfectly rational and logical and objective. But I could see I didn't truly live up to it despite academic success so I felt like a fraud and hated myself for it.

https://arxiv.org/abs/2210.03522

How well-intentioned white male physicists maintain ignorance of inequity and justify inaction

Background: We present an analysis of interviews with 27 self-identified progressive white-male physics faculty and graduate students discussing race and gender in physics. White men dominate most STEM fields and are particularly overrepresented in positions of status and influence (i.e. full professors, chairs, deans, etc.), positioning them as a potentially powerful demographic for enacting systemic reform. Despite their proclaimed outrage at and interest in addressing inequity, they frequently engage in patterns of belief, speech and (in)action that ultimately support the status quo of white male privilege in opposition to their intentions. Results: The white male physicists we interviewed used numerous discourses which support racist and sexist norms and position them as powerless to disrupt their own privilege. We present and discuss three overarching themes, seen in our data, demonstrating how highly intelligent, well-intentioned people of privilege maintain their power and privilege despite their own intentions: 1) Denying inequity is physically near them, 2) Locating causes of inequity in large societal systems over which they have little influence and 3) Justifying inaction. Conclusions: Despite being progressively minded, well-meaning, and highly intelligent, these men are frequently complicit in racism and sexism in physics. We end with recommendations for helping these men to engage the power they hold to better work with women and people of color in disrupting inequity in physics.

arXiv.org

When I first started to recover from the resulting depression and burnout/breakdown I thought everyone else already knew it wasn't that simple. But they don't. They're comforted by the idea of their own objective certainty so they believe it and don't really mind how much dehumanisation it takes to maintain.

They're certain harm only ever comes from the dangerous Other, the people who aren't like them.

When I would try and explain how I felt and why I was sad people would always try and reassure me that I was Smart and Rational and Good and that meant I didn't really have anything to worry about. I understand now why that was so frustrating and upsetting for me now. It is an incredibly toxic attitude that's unfortunately also completely Normal.
@recombobulating People think they’re helping, but it just delegitimises how you’re feeling. And what they’re really doing is avoiding the reality that not everything is naturally good, sometimes things are actually bad, sometimes there isn’t always a neat solution, and that’s difficult to sit with.