theaardvarkI live a privileged life. I'm a middle-class, white cishet, high-earning bloke with a functional family and a wife that lives me.
But my #depression tells me that the comparatively minor tribulations that I face as so large they make continuing to struggle on a pointless hassle.
My kids are grown up. They don't need me anymore. When the black tide of depression catches up with me, I feel like the daily struggles I have to overcome are more than it's worth enduring.
Honestly, though, why am I obliged to continue plodding on if I'm not enjoying life? Even as I type it, I know it's the weakest, shitest outlook. Billions of people forge on through genuine pain and hardship because they want life. But my depression cannot relate to that and I can't understand why.
Before anyone reports this post to whatever authorities pretend to care about such shite, I'm not about to do anything daft. My sense of responsibility to those around me wouldn't let me do that even if I genuinely wanted to. I just don't understand the desperate need to cling on to life regardless of the pain, upset and hardship. But then, I've not really been through any of those, except some pretty shitty grief.
But my #depression tells me that the comparatively minor tribulations that I face as so large they make continuing to struggle on a pointless hassle.
My kids are grown up. They don't need me anymore. When the black tide of depression catches up with me, I feel like the daily struggles I have to overcome are more than it's worth enduring.
Honestly, though, why am I obliged to continue plodding on if I'm not enjoying life? Even as I type it, I know it's the weakest, shitest outlook. Billions of people forge on through genuine pain and hardship because they want life. But my depression cannot relate to that and I can't understand why.
Before anyone reports this post to whatever authorities pretend to care about such shite, I'm not about to do anything daft. My sense of responsibility to those around me wouldn't let me do that even if I genuinely wanted to. I just don't understand the desperate need to cling on to life regardless of the pain, upset and hardship. But then, I've not really been through any of those, except some pretty shitty grief.