@BadBoyEmbryCall -

A small smirk escaped my lips when I heard the song the shuffle gods had picked for me.

“Of course.”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1x1305Z1lTo

Lifting my feet up off the floor I shifted my butt, laying down outstretched on the couch, listening to the music, the words, with my eyes closed and my arm dawned over my eyes to close them with a little darkness.

@HotHeadSheWolf
I sipped my coffee and read her reply… once… twice… three times. ‘You know I’ve found that no matter many times you read something the words never change.' #Billy raised his cup to me.

I smirked. "No... but our understanding of them can."

He gave me that look like I had exceeded his expectation and laughed. 'Touche, my boy. Touche.'

I took another big gulp of the coffee and then stood up pouring the end of the cup into the sink and and setting it on the side.

'So, now >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< you're in a rush?' #Billy chuckled. 'Where are you off to?'

"Somewhere else I don't have permission to be." I grinned at him. "Mind if I leave the Jeep here for a while?"

'You should... even my old ears can hear that old girl coming a mile away.' #Billy picked up his paper again.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Uncle." I called to him already heading down the hallway to the front door. I heard the floorboards squeak as he wheeled himself to the kitchen door.

'It's been a long >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< time since called me that, Embry.' He said with a small tremble in his voice. I knew why... but the second the word slipped out; I had felt a catch in my own throat.

"Far too long." I smiled back at him.

'Let's not leave it so long next time, shall we?' The chief nodded.

"You got it." I tried to hold back a smile.

'Get outta here will you... I'm a busy man.' He shooed me with his paper and I laughed. Head ing out and making my way where I wanted to be.

The walk from >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< here was a little longer, but with music in my years but really it was just five songs. I smiled, My mother often measured time in song lengths.

But there it was... five songs later and I was knocking on Leah Clearwater's door.

And instantly remembered I hadn't texted her back. "Damn it!" I laughed at myself and pulled out my phone to turn off my music.

@BadBoyEmbryCall

I must have drifted off to sleep, not sure how long had passed when the spirits came to life and began to sing, they kissed my skin with the air with a scent of….

“Embry?”

His name slipped from my lips, as Brothers Osborne’s were singing Stay A Little Longer now. https://youtu.be/s7tdIWcRZZI

But it was the spirits I honed in on. They were talking about him and his scent hit my sleepily mind, making me wake up with a shock. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Reaching out I checked my phone, there were no messages or missed calls on it.

I heard the sound of his footsteps, the whisper of his music. Making me Jump up from the couch, I was across the living room and up the small hallway to the door just as his knocked.

The door hadn’t even fully opened when I asked.

“What happened? Are the Mom’s okay?”

Only them did I notice the smile on his lips. He was smiling? That had to mean they were fine, right?

My eyes moved past -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

him to the street, but there was no jeep, no bike, no one else.

“What’s going on?” Asking with confusion in my eyes.

@HotHeadSheWolf
I smiled at the song I could hear from inside before they started towards the door. And the fact that she knew it was me from her living room.

"Everyone is fine, just how you left them. If something was wrong I wouldn't be coming to you without my jeep or my bike. I should have replied to your text and told you I was coming. I'm sorry."

I looked over my shoulder showing her there was no Jeep, no bike... just me.

"If just taking the advice of a wise man to ask for forgiveness >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< rather than permission."

I held out my hands and let them fall. "I was hoping I could convince you to get a little sleep but it looks like I've done the opposite."

@BadBoyEmbryCall

“Since when do you know wise people? I thought you ran the opposite way when you saw them coming.”

Scoffing just a little, because I’d noticed the missing vehicles before he had spoken.

“Forgiveness? Permission?” Tilting my head to the side, I caught the twitching curtain of my neighbours front window.

Waving my hand to her I stepped to the side gesturing for Embry to come on in.

“Em and Sam kick me out of my Ma’s house, you come over to make sure I’m sleeping. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Why does it feel like no one of you have any confidence in my ability to look out for myself?”

I’d began to walk backwards, turning at the side entrance of my kitchen. I went into the fridge. “Would you like something to drink?”

@HotHeadSheWolf
I laughed and rolled my eyes at her. "Every once in a while they sneak up on me before I get my shoes on to run."

I smiled when she invited me in... even if it was to stop her neighbours peeking out their windows. "Oh, I know you 𝕔𝕒𝕟 look after yourself, Leah." I said and slipped out of my boots next to the front door before I followed her.

"I just also know you 𝕨𝕠𝕟'𝕥 when you feel like someone else needs you."

I stood next to her at the fridge. "Hey... you don't need to >

@BadBoyEmbryCall

Freezing with my fingers curled around the handle of a jug, the other resting on the door of the fridge. Times like this the need and want to lie was strong in me, but it didn’t happen often as people never questioned me so directly. Except for Embry, of course.

Continuing to pull the jug out I closed the door holding it up. “The Goofball came with some stuff. And Em sent me off with this.” The red liquid looked vibrant and delicious. “Watermelon juice.”

Moving to take -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Our two glasses, I poured thinking of how to answer his question.

‘Are you okay?’

“No…” finally saying it I set the jar down and flattened my hands on the top of the kitchen counter. Shaking my head slowly from side to side. “I’m not okay… but I will be… I….”

The waterfall of emotions that I had been bottled up were pushed at me and I pushed back.

@HotHeadSheWolf
< against the side of her head. My fingers brushed over the back of her hand, and her fingers, waiting for her to release the tension in her hands and let it all out.

“I’m not okay either, I hardly ever remember seeing #Sue look tired. Seeing her in that bed was…” I shook my head. Closing my eyes, trying to push away the image. “I know what that’s like… and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel that.”

I kissed her temple, still holding onto her from behind. “Don’t hide from it, >

@BadBoyEmbryCall

Of course, if anyone understood everything fighting inside of me right now it was Embry. With everything his mom and he were fighting in a daily battle, the good days and the bad ones. The hospital visits and the dialysis… And I couldn’t hold it together with this?

My hands fisted so tight that my nails bit into my palms. But I didn’t flinch or stop myself.

I closed my eyes when I felt his support, his touch and then his words. Because they really mean something to me. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

To have someone who understood the importance of the relationship between my mom and I, because he had the same with his own mom.

“It… it’s not easy to do that. It feels too vulnerable.” Once again I was being honest with him and myself. I wasn’t used to showing this side of me. Showing how lost I felt… this was new that he was able to witness it.

𝕀’𝕝𝕝 𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦

𝕀’𝕞 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖

𝕀’𝕧𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦

All words… word that had no emphasis on my life… Before Embry Call.

Now…. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Now I lent back into his hold. I swallowed back the emotions still trying to free themselves. I stood in his arms.

“I shouldn’t be this way… not when you deal with so much more everyday..” but he felt it too. “She… they.. they’re so fragile Embry.. both of them… Billy too… Spirits… I can’t…”

@HotHeadSheWolf
“I know it does,” I whispered. I forced my finger between hers when she clenched her fists. Finding the other hand too and doing the same. She might dig her fingernails into her own skin but she wouldn't do it to me, or anyone else. Even if that person would heal in moments.

I kept hold of her hands wrapping my arms around her and her own as well. “But there's some vulnerability that no one ever tells you.” I kissed her hair again, feeling her lean back into me. “Without >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< it there is no such thing as bravery. So be brave, for your Mom.”

I flashed back to moments ago, the look on Billy’s face when I called him Uncle. #Sue, smiling though all her pain. Mom, curled up on the couch with one of her fevers. #Harry… already lost to next world. She was right they were. And we couldn’t ignore that fact. “I know, I know they are. And you can, Leah. Let me show you how.” I let it hit me then all at once, and let the tears come. Squeezing her hands a >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< little.

“Everybody is safe, recovering… taken care of. Now we can cry… or scream or hit things, we can be afraid. We can’t hide from it or bottle it up because they still need us. And holding it in eats away at us. We can’t afford that because we need to be strong when they need us again.” I took a long shuddering breath. All those faces in my mind. “They did it for us all our lives, now we do it for them. We hold it in… until the right time. Then we let out all that pain.”

@BadBoyEmbryCall

My hands unclenched the second he placed his in them. I wouldn’t… I couldn’t bring harm to him. My heart stopped and didn’t start for a few best while I pushed harder and hard while he talked me off this ledge I had brought myself too.

Until now I could have drowned myself in something, work, dealing with the pack, or the imprints, or even fixing my baby until I could stop thinking of whatever it was I wasn’t ready to face.

But Embry was making me face it, here and now -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

There was no hiding when you were being told you aren’t alone.

My breath caught in my throat, thinking of times when I looked up to the strength of my elders, and then came a day when I passed them. I… we…. Now were the stronger ones…

I closed my eyes trying to fill my lungs with air, but then I heard the crack in his voice and it broke me. His hands held me to him, his body curled around me. But he was crying… and my stone heart broke.

“We’ve got this…” the tears -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Came at last, flowing down my cheeks. The harder I tried the more they fell.

I turned myself around in his arms. I didn’t tell him it will all be okay, I didn’t wipe his tears away. I hugged myself to him, my forehead touching his and I let it all flow free with him, because he was right.. this was our time… our time to be there for our elders.

@HotHeadSheWolf
I felt the tension leaving her hands as the subtle message sank in through touch alone. She was leaning into feelings and not letting them burn away beneath the surface and bearing them all alone.

She was leaning in and opening up and allowing the pain of the last two days to be felt. I unlaced our fingers as she spun inside of my arms, resting my forehead against hers. “We’ve got this.” I returned the >

@HotHeadSheWolf
sentiment that meant so much to both of us. I didn’t expect tears or sobs… even if anyone else in her position would be fully allowed the scream, cry… whatever it took. Spirits know I did when they put my mother on the transplant list. But she wasn’t me… and she didn’t need to feel in any way other than what came naturally.

“I’ve got you.” I whispered. “And that means all of it… all of this. Your mom… #Seth.” I pressed a kiss to her cheek and closed my >

@BadBoyEmbryCall

Closing my eyes I let the time pass. Allowing his words to sink in, because here in my kitchen, a place where many people left me to be. Embry Call pushed in at first, then he became comfortable, and now I looked forward to seeing him on my doorstep.

But now… crap! By the Spirits I had to let my wolf listen and replay his words again and again..

‘𝕀’𝕧𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦. 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕗 𝕚𝕥… 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤. 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕞𝕠𝕞… 𝕊𝕖𝕥𝕙. 𝔸𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦. 𝕀’𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖.’
-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

It wasn’t that I needed anyone to hold me or my family together. It wasn’t that I wanted anyone else to be around to hold the walls up. It was the fact that he said it knowing me. Knowing that it came straight from the depths of his heart.

‘𝕀’𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖.’

Exactly… as… you… are…! He didn’t want to change me, to adapt me.
-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

His lips felt warm on my cheek. Making my arms close tighter around his shoulders.

The words Thank You, seemed underwhelming. Saying anything in this moment felt wrong. I didn’t have words, I very rarely did. But I knew he understood me. Even if at times, the words helped.

So I moved my head to rest on his shoulders, my arms moved around his waist and I held him. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Not hiding, not holding back, trying to tell him, his offer was understood, and I was grateful for him choosing to be here when he could be anywhere else.

@HotHeadSheWolf

I stood there with her, siliently. Holding onto her, and her holding onto me. I didn’t say anything else, there was nothing else that was needed. For years and years Leah had been left alone in this kind of pain, I wasn’t about o let that happen again not for as long as she wanted me here. And from the way she lay her head on my shoulder and hugged me close… Then I was all in.

If she didn’t want this I would ensure that she knew I was and let her feel this in her own way.

>

@HotHeadSheWolf
< We stood there for several long moments, my fingers painting circles on her back where they rested, these tiny things were what helped me be still in moments like this. But, with Leah… the unease and restlessness never seemed to build. She helped me feel at ease in silence and stillness.

I finally lifted one hand to her cheek, and tilted her face to mine, pressing a kiss to her forehead before I took her hand from around my waist and laced my fingers between hers, leading >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< her out of the kitchen and into the hallway towards her bedroom. As we walked I set a two hour timer on my phone and when I sat her down on the bed, I showed it to her before I set on her bedside table.

l Iifted her legs up onto the bed and sat next to her, still never uttering a word…. I really was learning from her.

@BadBoyEmbryCall

Time seemed to still, the hum of the spirits growing silent while I stood in his arms. The tension in my body slowly easing to the point I stopped clenching my jaw.

There were still spurts of anger at myself. I knew mentally how wrong it was to think I could have stopped my Ma from hurting herself by doing someone as simple as wanting to put up a new picture on the wall. I knew that telling her what to do, wasn’t an option. Spirits, I was her daughter! But still…
-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

When my feet began to follow, my mind still felt full of a whirlwind of thoughts. All trying to push out at once. But his kiss silenced them.

He had learnt my language, the one were words said nothing but your action screamed from the rooftops.

I could have pulled my hand free, stopped walking, shook my head to say “No I can’t.” But I trusted him. I trusted him enough to give him this.
-