Sorry, kid. Mom and Dad pimped you for internet points.

But in your parents’ defense, many of them were completely clueless about the internet and Facebook exploited this without shame. Facebook told them to share their lives and they did, because it was novel and easy, and because the vast majority lacked the experience (what some zoomers now have) or technical knowledge (what some older geeks had) to understand the ramifications of what they were doing.

I have a one year old son (yes I’m a pretty old dad) and y’all are never gonna see him (too bad, he’s adorable.) I – or rather, my wife – has friends who post pictures of their kids on Facebook. Inevitably they ask why they don’t see our son on Facebook and we tell them were keeping him off social media until we think he’s mature enough to decide those things for himself. There usually follows an uncomfortable moment, then responses have ranged from “hmm, that’s probably a good idea” to “well gosh, I just put EVERYTHING up there! My kids gonna totally hate me when they get older LOL” We’ll see how well that LOL ages.

Of course, most are in the middle ground where they post nice pictures while being cognizant of not posting anything embarrassing. That’s still too much for our tastes, but those kids probably won’t be traumatized by a pic of them in their lacrosse outfit or blowing out candles on their birthday cake.

I have a 4 year old and I post a lot of pictures of my kid, but like privately. I use an app called tinybeans. You have to be explicitly invited. Grandma gets emails because she can’t use apps. everyone is happy. My kid’s pictures are hidden away from facebook and family members have to take much more active action to share her photos beyond themselves. And they know that means excommunication from the picture firehose, so they don’t. That’s how I’ve managed this. I mean… there’s still a bunch of embarrassing stuff in there, but at least the only people who can see it are the people who were traditionally privy to embarrassing kid shit anyway.