Defederating won’t do jack shit to meta, they can still view your content and view data to their hearts content

All defederating does is stop you within your instance being able to see posts from Threads

The two things Meta likely cares about is content and data, both of which they can still get

Couldn’t meta theoretically scoop up all their user data including contacts and then actually link that to other users?

I’m not talking simple fediverse data- I’m talking all interaction elsewhere on the phone and other platforms then associate that to fediverse data too.

I’m not too sure what you mean, for their own users yeah they can use whatever their users agree to. Phone numbers, IP address, name, email, device, whatever they like really. They can then easily have that all linked up with their relevant Instagram and Facebook profiles for advertisers. Adversisers then kind of build up profiles about users across different services which is why often if for example you look up cats on one app you might see a cat food advertisement in another

Target for example is great at building profiles up (automatically) of their shoppers, a while back there was a huge story about them predicting a pregnancy Forbes Article

Other users not on Meta I’d say no, this sounds like it would be illegal honestly at least in some countries though I don’t know enough about privacy law to say

That said, instance owners could definitely sell off your data to advertisers if they wanted to and it was in the TOS of that instance

How Target Figured Out A Teen Girl Was Pregnant Before Her Father Did

Target has perfected the technique of analyzing consumers' shopping habits to figure out who's pregnant. How can they send customers congratulatory coupons without freaking them out?

Forbes
This is nitpicky, but the story of target predicting a pregnancy was very overhyped; see: medium.com/…/target-didnt-figure-out-a-teen-girl-…
Target didn’t figure out a teen girl was pregnant before her father did

And that one article that said they did was silly and bad

Medium