MiddleWeigh
I DO NOT owe you a text back. If I’m not physically w you, I owe you very little in terms of interaction. I come home, throw my phone under the bed, and ignore till morning, and I prob won’t answer you then either. It’s not personal…usually.
Jul 6, 2023 at 4:58pmWeb
Show threadnul9o9Jul 6, 2023

I only text my wife, or instant message people from work.

Everyone else gets a phone call that has a concrete beginning and end. I get anxious having multiple running conversations waiting for a reply.

Show threadbrave_lemmywinksJul 6, 2023
I feel like old people take most offense to being ignored in that case.
Show threadCosmic ClericJul 6, 2023

Yep, my son and I have that dynamic going on.

Bothers the hell out of me when he doesn’t reply and to him he can’t understand why he should reply to me in a timely manner.

I think it just comes down to our generation was trained it’s rude to ignore someone, where the newer generations think it’s totally okay to ghost someone temporarily.

Socially I just can’t wrap my head around that, but sure why not, 21st century etc. etc.

Show threadbrave_lemmywinksJul 6, 2023
Probably much older than your son, but I do the same. I don’t view an instant message as a call to action, if it’s indeed urgent, just call me.
Show threadCosmic ClericJul 6, 2023

It’s kind of rude though, and it may not gain you very many friends, which if that’s not something you prioritize on it’s fine (for you) of course.

It’s almost like if two people were sitting in a restaurant talking and one person asks the other one a question and the other person just ignores them. Just seems rude to me.

Now if you’re getting too many texts from one person there’s a different conversation to be had about boundaries, but that’s different than your point.

Show threadLifeInMultipleChoiceJul 7, 2023

It isn’t comparable to ignoring someone at a restaurant. A restaurant was choice made by someone to show up and participate. Consent if you will. A text message from someone was not planned or requested most of the time. It is a non consensual conversation until they choose to respond.

In the 90s it was considered fairly normal to just show up at someones house as well. If you show up to someone’s house without notice now it is often considered rude. While it can be a nice surprise, whatever we are doing in the privacy of our own homes is ours to know and not for others to barge in on.

Anyways, I just checked and saw I have 1034 contacts with numbers in my phone because I never delete them. There are ~15 people I would text with. (Mostly family)

Show threadCosmic ClericJul 7, 2023

Consent is given when you give out your phone number to that person.

If you want to withdrawal consent then you need to ask them to stop texting you and to remove your phone number from their address book.

Show threadLifeInMultipleChoiceJul 7, 2023
You don’t have a choice to remove your number from someone else’s address book… Also that isn’t how consent works either, it isn’t indefinite until withdrawn. I don’t need to explicitly state don’t call me at 3 am drunk for someone to know they shouldn’t call at 3am drunk. I don’t need to tell my coworker that they shouldn’t be using my work cell number as a try to pick me up line. If you call me at 4pm on Tuesday, it is my option to pick up or respond when I wish, not my obligation. You don’t own people nor do they owe you anything. A phone isn’t a leash, don’t make it one, haha