Just a remark: "Whenever lemmy.ml or its devs do something stupid" admins or lemmy.ml ARE the devs of lemmy software. Moreover, they developed lemmy because they where thrown out of reddit for did something "stupid".
People like this are actually the best ones to have running such a project. For them it's not just a pet-project to pass time, or a small way to show their skills. It's a necessary step for them, to be able to keep their online presence.
You'd be surprised at how effective people can be, when they're doing something out of spite.
Not everything here has to be misconstrued to be done out of spite.
I could be mistaken, but I truly believe that a large part of these forks and communities are about providing an alternative platform where there is opportunity for dogma agnostic discussion and constructive criticism beyond name-calling.