We can and should push back on the "you do you" attitude. Other people, including the most vulnerable, should be part of our calculations. But we do have to make calculations at this point. It can't be all or nothing, because the vast majority will choose nothing. In fact, many people -- including those who were formerly cautious -- are indeed choosing to do nothing at this point.

2/

Making decisions is not easy, and the factors may be complex. It's not *only* about COVID risk. It's not *only* about our own risk, especially those of us who have kids or vulnerable loved ones (in my case, both). Like it or not, we're all doing risk assessments all the time. My position is that we need the best information we can get and as reasonable a balance as we can achieve. That calculus should also include considering risk to others as much as possible.

3/

Let me illustrate with a question: Should I take my kids to the dentist?

If you can immediately answer this with an unwavering YES or NO with no other information, you're probably engaging in all-or-nothingism, not acknowledging real complexity, or practicing one-way empathy.

4/

Might it be relevant if...

The prevalence of COVID is at its lowest point in a long time, after a year of being elevated and before a probable increase in fall/winter?

My dentist is employing multiple mitigation measures including staff masking and air filters in every room?

My kids are up to date on vaccines, mask in school, and will mask in the waiting room?

5/

And should I consider that not getting dental care is also a very real risk for my children's health?

Does it matter that I have a vulnerable loved one at home who is strongly in favour of the kids seeing the dentist?

Would it be relevant if my kids have dental issues that we know need to be addressed?

That's just one kind of decision among a great many that we're all making now.

6/

We can all hate being put in this position. We can fight for change. But we can't ignore reality. And I am of the view at this point that people need to factor in their own mental health, to recharge and reconnect, the shore up their resilience for the continuing marathon that many of us are still running.

7/

Of course, I hesitate to even frame things that way because minimizers have weaponized talk of mental health and personal choice. I'm not talking about justifying let it rip or leaving people behind. I'm talking about not burning ourselves and each other out by demanding perfect adherence to idealized standards, or practicing one-way empathy that insists that our position and lived experience be considered but refuses to consider that of others.

8/

We are all watching people around us give up, move on, ignore risk, and focus on themselves. We are not going to improve that situation by judging, lashing out, and driving them even further away. We need to find ways of being inclusive of them too.

I want very much for us to do this differently as a society. I am deeply disheartened that this is where we've ended up. I don't accept that it's everyone for themselves.

9/