🔥Cassandra🔥Jun 5, 2023

I'm just back from singing, and I'm a little rattled.

I figured I'd have a rough time re: musculature, since I haven't really been *speaking* much since the pandemic began. (Vaping weed, though. A LOT.)

And I knew it would be rough because I got punished for making noise, and that's actual trauma to overcome.

Plus I knew it would be rough because I gave up music for decades. It surfaces emotions and I needed to *suppress* them to Be Perfect (to survive). So, like, there are *feelings.*

Show threadAutistic Innovator Jun 6, 2023
@Cassandra Yes, alexithymia is often caused by trauma. We shut ourselves off to survive in traumatic times and this can create alexithymia.
Show thread🔥Cassandra🔥Jun 6, 2023
@ashleyspencer It's just all so infuriating, when another choice is to just listen to, accept, help, maybe even love your "weird" kid.
Show threadAutistic Innovator Jun 6, 2023
@Cassandra I have no awareness of my emotions or anything. I’ve made up for what I can’t do emotionally with logic. Mine came from a bad childhood with a diagnosed 3x as a narcissist mother. Most evil person I’ve ever known. What helps me is knowing she doesn’t have the ability to feel even a drop of love, nothing I did wrong.
Show thread🔥Cassandra🔥Jun 6, 2023
@ashleyspencer Nothing you did wrong 💜
Show threadAutistic Innovator 
@Cassandra I think I turned out alright despite all that. I got my dad too, and he’s awesome.
Jun 6, 2023 at 11:31pmWeb