Second, my financial advisor has been asking me to buy Apple stock since 2011. And every time I would tell him, "oh no, I can't do that, I'm a tech journalist and we're not really allowed, and it might look bad."

I would have bought like, what. $100 worth of Apple stock? (That today, would be worth about $1500, still hardly market-moving.)

And Clarence Thomas has a full-on literal sugar daddy and is on the Supreme Court. I just. Wow.