Episode 2 Recap:
- @RuPaul was killed by @MattShadows at the behest of the imposter in the "Earth Vent"
- Madonna won the second challenge, and is in the middle of deciding between safety for herself or $30k for the prize-pot
@Madonna looks at her choices. "Well girls be mad that I'm here anyway. Might as well make them even more mad."
She chooses safety for herself. The cash prize remains at $5k.
It's announced over the speaker that the challenge has been won by @Madonna and that she chose to safe herself from elimination.
@Xtina, aggravated to hear that the cash prize is still only $5k, confronts Madonna.
"You're such a selfish beach for choosing yourself over the money. I need that money very much, I'm still in a lot of debt from the sunset stripper tour!"
@Madonna, mistaking Xtina for a pile of meatloaf, began to dry-heave.
"I'm starting to think maybe you're the killer. There's no way everyone else was less competent than you." @GrantGustin accuses Madonna.
"Again, another person pressed that a woman who sustains herself on a vegan lifestyle is being successful. Maybe if you killed these challenges like you kill countless animals, maybe you'd be doing good in the game." @Madonna responded.
"MAYBE YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF WITH YOUR WHACKASS BOTCHED FACE YOU UGLY CORPSEFUCKER." @NewYork intervened.
"THAT'S RIGHT MOMMY. PROVE HER ASS WRONG!" @TOP said, still under the impression that @NewYork was @Kandi.
"NOW IF YOU DON'T STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND WITH YOUR LITTLE SHRIMP DICK. I WOULDN'T HAVE SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHOW IF I NEW YOU WERE THE ONLY FUCKABLE MAN HERE." @NewYork shoved TOP back.
"Can we move on with what we have to do next. I think it's time for us to take the next test." @itsryannxox asked.
"Absoluetly not. We need to discuss how amazing my next few releases are gonna be. I currently have a scathing diss track that's going to be released this month. It's gonna revitalize my career." @Xtina interrupted.
"What career?" @itsryannxox asked.
@Xtina gasped. She grabbed her purse and attempted to throw it at @itsryannxox but he managed to duck out of the way.
The purse, carrying only what Xtina deemed as essential, a 3 pound ham, instead hit @TroyeSivan in the face.
"Yes budget." @TroyeSivan said.
"Was that like? Supposed to be a joke? Aren't buses for like... poor people?" @ParisHilton said.
"Hey, fuck you!" @Xtina replied.
The bus began to drive towards the location of the next challenge when a car filled with influencers began driving besides it, trying to chase the bus off the road.
Notable influencer @MadisonBeer was driving the car.
"Christina... leaking the location of our set put us all in grave danger. Due to that... you have been disqualified from the competition."
@Xtina shook her head. "Absoluelty not! No. I need that money."
"We have a car waiting to pick you up. You'll be sent home."
@Xtina groaned like a mammoth, kicking and screaming as security had to drag her onto the bus.
"The duo that makes it to the end of the river earns the chance to either save both of themselves from taking a test, or earn $35k to the cash prize."
" @Madonna and @ParisHilton, you'll be paired together."
"Is this like a... before and after situation?" @ParisHilton asked.
" @GrantGustin and @itsryannxox, you two will be the next duo."
"Oh fuck kayaking." @GrantGustin said.
"We can do both." @itsryannxox said.
" @HarryStyles and @Normani, you two will be the next duo."
"With our amazing vocals and dancing abilities, I'm sure we'll do great." @Normani said reassuringly.
"Ma'am this challenge is about kayaking." @HarryStyles said.
" @Feoba and @NewYork, you'll be the next duo."
"We'll I'm sure we can give this a decent shot." Rob said.
"SHUT UP I DON'T WANT NO PART OF YOUR FAIRY PRINCESS BULLSHIT. WHY DON'T YOU FLAMIN-GO THE FUCK AWAY." New York responded.
"That leaves @TOP and @TroyeSivan, you'll be our final group."
"HEHE MAYBE AFTER WE WIN WE CAN PLAY 'TOP & BOTTOM?'" TOP asked.
"I'm in a committed relationship thank you." Troye responded.
@GrantGustin and @itsryannxox never actually entered their kayak as they decided to spend "One Night (In the Bushes)"
Camera's couldn't capture the footage due to "family friendly" content but they're the first team to lose this challenge.
"That attention whore2, I swear..." @TroyeSivan began kayaking with @TOP, looking around to see that Grant and Ryan are nowhere to be seen.
"SEE, I TOLD YOU THAT COULD'VE BEEN US." @TOP said.
Meanwhile, @Feoba and @NewYork were not getting a good start, as New York did not know how to paddle.
"You need to paddle to the left, we're not going straight." Rob said.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO I WILL WOOP YOUR ASS BITCH!"
Meanwhile, @ParisHilton thought long and hard about how the previous challenge went down.
"Madonna, I need you to stand up for a moment." Paris said.
"I don't listen to others, but thanks for the suggestion." @Madonna replied.
"It's like crazy, you can see yourself in the reflection of the water."
"Oh really?" @Madonna stood up to get a good look at herself, Paris then grabbed her paddle and pushed Madonna over into the water.
@TOP continued paddling the boat before he began to realize they were slowing down. "WHAT'S GOING ON?" He turned to look at @TroyeSivan behind him.
Troye had stopped paddling, as he was speaking with his good friend @TaylorSwift on the phone. "Is it possible to get a prenup after being married? No? Could you recommend a lawyer?"
Meanwhile @Feoba and @NewYork were still stuck at the start.
"I think we should just give up. I can't even see anyone else." Rob said.
"YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING ONCE I'M DONE WITH YOU." New York stopped trying to paddle and began trying to swing it in Rob's direction, causing the kayak to capsize.
With every other team out of commision, @HarryStyles and @Normani were able to reach the end of the river at a leisurely pace.
"We did it!" Normani cheered, Harry following as they got out of the kayak. The two then had to choose if they'd pick the money or the safety from elimination.
"We can go the selfish or the selfless route." Harry said.
While we have announced unfortunate news that #DOMS3 won't be happening in the fall..
That doesn't mean exciting things still won't be happening. 💓
Doja Cat